Show notes –
Join Shannon and Christine with special guest Shamika Wallace for a chat about Ladies Living Limitless and Emotional/Mental Wellness.
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Article we talked about today:
I am app https://apps.apple.com/us/app/i-am-daily-affirmations/id874656917
Trail Dames – https://traildames.com/
Morning Pages – Julia Cameron – The Artist’s Way – https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/02/style/julia-cameron-the-artists-way.html?.?mc=aud_dev&ad-keywords=auddevgate&gclid=CjwKCAjw_L6LBhBbEiwA4c46uiXlItA3BWTOX4lLsOXllePxs0ZYaYK8qE7WUQwMHVcOcc5YYDbk1RoCvOEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Show Transcript –
NOTE: While it’s not perfect, we offer this transcription by Otter.ai for those who are hearing impaired or who don’t find listening to a podcast enjoyable or possible.
Shannon M. 0:08
Let’s do this. Okay ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female, millennial entrepreneur, the founder of shallow glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine G. she/hers 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show. And
Christine G. she/hers 0:43
we get together every week to have intentional conversations about how to be well in life and business and relationships. And sometimes we have really awesome guests to join us. And sometimes it’s the two of us. So who knows? Which way is it? Today, right? Well, my friends yeah, since the last time I saw you, I got a nasty cold. It’s the first time I’ve been sick in two years and talk about needing to focus on wellness. Yes. What is your favorite remedy for cold? I used to teach foster and adoptive parents and getting them ready to have kids in their home. And we would always talk about this because every family has different traditions around colds. So when somebody in your family gets a cold, what do you do?
Shannon M. 1:38
So the first thing I usually think about is lemon honey tea, which is before I used to just make it with hot water, lemon and honey. Right now I’ve made a simple syrup with water and brown sugar. I might add some honey to it with lemon and lime mint. I might put some ginger with it. And if not tea then orange juice and vitamin C getting those fluids through your body. Of course eat but making sure that you have your fluids and or coating your throat and your system in general.
Christine G. she/hers 2:10
Do I love it? I love it. What do you do? So we definitely do the hot tea with raw honey in it. And we also do my dad has a chicken tortilla soup recipe that is out of this world. Now I have it can you hear me?
Shannon M. 2:28
Yeah it pause for a second but I think your bed.
Christine G. she/hers 2:31
Okay, thank you having a little tech issues Mercury in Retrograde it should be out by now. So come on tick. My dad has an incredible chicken tortilla soup recipe that I have adapted and so it is you know old school chicken soup with the whole chicken and the you know, the natural penicillin. And I usually make it for my crew when they get sick. And this time I was the one that was sick. And thank goodness, I had two jars of it frozen in the freezer from the last time I made a big batch. So I ate that felt better. And then I also made some more. So that’s my i i live on soup when I’m not feeling well. And so so that’s my go to. And I’m also a big, you know, Vicks Vapor Rub or Mentholatum on the chest and on the feet with socks on. I know it’s weird. It’s probably just a wise towel. But that’s what we do.
Shannon M. 3:34
I don’t know. You know, because your foot health is so important. That’s what we’re about to talk about in the next the next quarter shallow blow this month, we’ve been talking about ankle care. And since we talk about blowing from head to toe, the end of the year, we’re talking about feet. And I know when my feet are moisturize I’m sure the vapor of tingles probably feels good. You put the socks on? Am I do something for you? Because you know, important to your immune system.
Christine G. she/hers 4:00
Listeners, give us a shout out what’s your best remedy for a cold? Right? When I was teaching that question and man, there were some stuff that was like I’m like, glad I wasn’t raised in that family. Like there was some stuff about polls. I mean, I taught that class for a year so hundreds of people came to that class, but sometimes there were hostesses with raw onions. Sometimes they were hostesses with cow poop. Like remember, hostesses like where? When I think about a pollster, I think about a mixture of things that you put on the body that like, like, I’m trying to think what the official definition is. It’s awesome. Look it up
Shannon M. 4:40
something that like you might put on your body to draw toxins or to maybe to even heal a certain area to cover it and heal it that makes sense. Because your skin absorbs things. That’s why it’s so important what you put on your skin.
Christine G. she/hers 4:55
So what it says the official definition of pollsters is a soft moisten mass of material, typically of plant material or flour applied to the body to relieve soreness and inflammation and kept in place with a cloth.
Shannon M. 5:11
soreness or inflammation.
Christine G. she/hers 5:13
Thank you for asking. I just grew up with that word, so I’ve never really thought about like what it is. Uh huh.
Shannon M. 5:19
That makes sense, though. A post this. Okay. See, when we connected it was the right?
Christine G. she/hers 5:26
Yeah, yeah. So listeners, give us your shout out for best remedy for cold because we are connected in wisdom. And you can put it in the chat. If you’re listening live, you can put it under the comments, and we’ll share it with our listeners today. Yeah. What are we? What are we talking about today? Shannon?
Shannon M. 5:44
Yes. So today, we’re talking about emotional and mental wellness. And according to the University of California, what they say it is, is important to be attentive to both positive and negative feelings, and be able to understand how to handle these emotions. emotional wellness also includes the ability to learn and grow from experience. emotional well being encouraged, encourages autonomy and proper decision making skills. Hmm. Yes, very important. The part that jumps out to me is the autonomy part. Right. And that’s kind of different from different from being independent. Because you’re still in my mind, I can be autonomous and know who I am as an individual, but still reference where I came from, or be aware of my family and things that I need to be proactive about, while still choosing in a healthy way to stand on. We were talking to a future guest earlier today, the center of my life, and what center is me? That’s what that lesson is makes me think about what do you think about when you hear that definition?
Christine G. she/hers 6:55
There’s so many things that bubble up for me around emotional and mental wellness, right? Um, will you read it one more time, Shannon,
Shannon M. 7:05
of course, it is important to be attentive to both positive and negative feelings, and be able to understand how to handle these emotions. emotional wellness, also includes the ability to learn and grow from experience, emotional well being encourages autonomy and proper decision making skills.
Christine G. she/hers 7:27
I love that so much. I love it, because it talks about the fullness of our being the positive and negative emotions, you know, and how do we handle it? And how do we grow? I think about that definition in relation to racial equity work. And as a white woman doing that work, like how much I had to learn and grow to encompass all the feelings and to be able to say things that were uncomfortable or to receive feedback when I’ve screwed up or, you know, into learn from my mistakes. And I mean, I think about what it takes skill. It takes skill to be emotionally and mentally well. And a lot of times we think, Oh, some people are just born with it. Well, we know we’re taught like, how do we express ourselves? Do we have emotional intelligence? What are activities that encourage emotional wellness, like we talk about that on the show all the time? Is what are what are practical things we can do? Right? And I love that because I feel like the definition incorporates it because you can learn and grow. It’s not static. Like, you know, what are things that encourage emotional wellness, you and I were talking about this about an article we read that we will put in our show notes. But should we talk about that article?
Shannon M. 8:54
Yeah, let’s go ahead and jump in.
Christine G. she/hers 8:55
Yeah, this is an article from BetterHelp. And it was talking about the 11 mental health activities that encourage emotional wellness. And it stuck out to us because, you know, of course, we talked about this a lot, but we loved it because the first one was make sleep a priority. Make sleep a priority. Like I think that is so important. Talks about that on the show before. Especially in American culture so many times who like I don’t need sleeper I only got this amount of sleep and they kind of glorify, like, doing it without it. And it’s the exact opposite of good health. Like, I think you know, the latest studies show we need as adults, we need eight hours or more, and some people need more. I’m kind of a seven and a half hour girl. But that’s like where my optimum is. What about you?
Shannon M. 9:48
I think one I don’t think I’ve completely nailed it down. Sleep is definitely something that I’m being intentional about though. And it’s not six I know I want more than six and I get a usually I want more. So I think all the things that you usually say about your sleep cycle make sense to me to have more energy if I wake up earlier, even though I don’t always over here, you know, I don’t always wake up earlier. But I know I don’t want to sleep so long that I get drowsy because that’s the thing too, if you oversleep you can be tired, which is interesting. So I’m gonna have a I’m definitely
Christine G. she/hers 10:23
like, I think that’s about body wisdom. You know, we’re so I’m so into body wisdom with interplay and with my personal coaching clients that we really like keep track of it. Like notice, it’s an even way you can gently journal and how do you feel? How much sleep did you get? What temperature were you sleeping at? What you know, because it may change as you grow and get older. Y’all be going through perimenopause right now blue is changing. It’s changing. But, um, you kind of know yourself, like, pay attention to what works for you. Do you like it really dark? Do you like it light? Like, what do you what do you like, and set it up? I realized when I had been doing this for a while, Shannon, we have an exercise in Interplay that we play with, about listening to our body, data knowledge and wisdom, and really checking in with ourselves. And I realized I had gotten this right, when I was so excited to come home from travel to my own bedroom, because it was perfectly set up for me. Right? It was like, Ah, so good. So number two on this article is exercise. It talks about getting x, that exercise can help you sleep better at night, we know that. And it’s also been linked to boosting the immune system. And it’s overall good for general health. I mean, to no brainer, yeah, but you know, I tell private clients all the time, when they’re struggling, go back to the basics, good sleep, good exercise, good food. And then let’s start building from there. I
Shannon M. 11:59
love that advice. And I love good food, I love good sleep. And that exercise too. You know, and I think about it, literally on a day to day basis. If you have however many breaths you have, in this day, however much energy and potential you have for this day, I want to be exhausted and not to say climbing into bed completely drained, but I want all the potential for that day to have been used. So exercising is a great way to do that. You know, it helps me balance stress and tension in my body hitting the pavement literally running, working out that energy, I think is great for my emotional stability. And it does energize me. So then I have time to do these other things, which of course affect the financial bonus and the social wellness and the physical wellness. So those things being an optimum levels of health, right, of course directly affects my emotional and mental well being. So yeah, when I exercise less sleep better,
Christine G. she/hers 12:58
me to be to with this cold, there were a couple of days I didn’t get to. And I was so grateful to get back into my routine because my minimum is I walk two miles a day. And then I build my exercise routine off of that I like to throw in some yoga, I love swimming, I love cycling, like I like a variety, I get bored easy. So I like to change it up. And I also like to make social dates for my social wellness, where I combine my exercise with seeing somebody because, you know, I like to stack things i like i like i like its purposes.
Shannon M. 13:35
I think I like it and especially for my new schedule since I’m since I have more official hours on the books right now. Right? me making time for my social relationships that are important for my emotional and mental well being. But still making sure that I get my minimum of working out four days a week, right that that does help me be effective with my time. So I get it, it makes
Christine G. she/hers 13:58
sense. Well, and some people may not like it, you know, my eldest daughter and I were walking this week together and she doesn’t consider walking exercise she considers her running or her working out of the gym exercise and she said that’s her me time. Like that’s her time. And she even said I don’t take people to the gym because that’s my me time I don’t want like don’t they’ll come into my I’m in my zone, which you got to respect that too. Right? Finding out what works for you and what feels good. Number three on that list was deep breathing, which you know is one of my favorites is an inner player is just taking a deep breath. Let it out with a sigh it’s this deep breathing can be helpful strategy to use if you are struggling with a difficult situation. When you feel your stress level rise or begin to experience difficult emotions. You may notice a physical response in your body. This could include things like increased heart rate, higher blood pressure, dizziness or short quick breaths. So deep breathing exercises can help to end interrupt the cycle of that stress that it has on your physical body. And when you practice deep breathing, you may notice that your heart rate and blood pressure returned to normal. This can help you to gain control over the difficult emotion emotions that you’ve been experiencing.
Shannon M. 15:16
interrupts the stress cycle. Yeah, like, right. Yes. And I really feel like being in band for seven years shout out to all go flutist. Although beautiful, ladies and gentlemen who play flute, right, doing that for seven years definitely helped me with a lot of stuff I had going on. And that’s what my dad had cancer, you know. So, moving and everything, there was a lot of other stuff going on. But focusing on my breathing, physically marching around the field, using my mind in different creative ways. That was great for me balancing everything I was going on in a healthy, emotional and mental way. I love that.
Christine G. she/hers 15:54
I love that. Number four in this article says volunteer your time. And you and I know this because we we do this and it does bring joy. It says volunteering your time to a cause or an organization that you care about can go a long way in helping your emotional health, it can help you shift your thoughts and feelings off of yourself and on to something or someone else. Yes. And volunteering can help you gain a new perspective.
Shannon M. 16:22
Yeah, and that can’t will it could be minimized. But for me, that is the the huge deal. And a huge reason why volunteering helps so much, especially with depression. Because when we talk about the, the thoughts, and we’ll talk about that later on the list, right? One thing is that you’re constantly thinking about the same situations or the same details over and over again, replaying the text messages and reading them over and over again. So volunteering for me in high school. And since then, it’s helped break that cycle of thinking about what I want to happen and what it should look like and look at what somebody else has going on. And you know, look how you can help them What if you could keep doing that it helped me think about things in another perspective. Definitely.
Christine G. she/hers 17:08
I love that. I love that. Yeah. I currently volunteer on reforming arts Borg that we’ve talked about on on this podcast before, and I’m hoping to have our executive director Come on, and be one of our guests in the near future. But you know, that is one of the places that I put my time and resources right now. And it is powerful to be in community and to volunteer your time. Now. Also, as somebody who sometimes gets out of balance with that, black want to bring that into where it says women, like sometimes we can volunteer too much time. So making sure we’re in balance that yes, it’s good for our emotional health, but making sure that we are in balance with it. Absolutely. Yeah. Number five on this list of spend some time with friends for book, we know that I mean, that’s a like it’s a no brainer, but we’re in a pandemic. So it can still be challenging. Like it may be challenging if we’re not traveling yet to see friends that we may need to do it virtually, or we may do do do it outside on a patio or you know, figuring out creative ways to be with our friends during this time because they do have a positive impact on our emotional mental health. And if you’re looking for some new friends, because sometimes that’s true, right? Sometimes you’re like, I don’t have a lot of friends where I want different friends or I want healthy friends or how would you go about looking for new friends, Shannon?
Shannon M. 18:43
So I love this question. I would think about what my goals are. Right? And then think about what I feel like maybe I will want to talk to all the time or what I would like to spend my time doing. Right. So for example, shame of lows in the second year. podcast is in the fifth season in the middle of the season. So I have more friends and new acquaintances that have businesses. So what did you do? How did you reach out to social media influencers? What did you say, you know, because those are the things that interests me. So not being manipulative, but if you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with, as a business owner, it might not benefit me to have my average be with people who are thinking and talking about different things. So first, that’s what I would say
Christine G. she/hers 19:36
what do you want to see like some professional friends is what you’re talking about. And that’s specifically
Shannon M. 19:41
because right now with where I am in my life, I’m developing myself professionally. My friends, my again, my best friend has my goddaughter. She needs mommy friends, you know, so get your group together and you guys can talk about the schedule of the house and, you know, watch the children back and forth and plan the birthday party. and make you know, you’ll borrow the Bose, I’ll get the bag for the next week. And we can go back and forth. And those are the types of friends that she needs. So think about what you need and then what would help you and help you be healthier.
Christine G. she/hers 20:13
You know, I love before the pandemic, I haven’t done as much during the pandemic, but before the pandemic. I love meetup. Because you know, here in Atlanta, it’s pretty active. I don’t know, for some of our listeners, I don’t know if you have access to meetup or not, but it’s a it’s an app in a platform that lets you put in your interest and find groups of people that like the same things you do. And I always think about when I talk to clients that are struggling with building new relationships, whether they’re professional or private. There’s a phrase, and I can’t, I think it was Einstein, but I’m not sure about insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yeah, so you know, breaking out of our routines and trying something new, like trying a hiking group. I belong to a group called trail dame’s for women, hikers in Georgia, and they are so fun, and they do meetups and it can be outside. And it can be something to build friendships. And so there’s all kinds of ways to spend time with new friends or old friends, right? Yeah. I love that. All right, you want to keep going on this article? We have a few more. Yeah, I
Shannon M. 21:32
think we should do all 11.
Christine G. she/hers 21:33
Let’s do it. Alright, number six is take time to unplug, oh, I got to say this one to myself again. Number six, take time to unplug. In this day and age of technology, it’s easy to feel like you’re always connected. This can be overwhelming. If you feel like you’re constantly getting notifications of things that are demanding your attention. It can be difficult in the moment when you’re constantly being pulled away by the dinging notification sound of your cell phone. Whoo, preach it. Um, it can be good for your emotional health to take a break from technology from time to time, whether you’re getting out of the house and heading out into nature, or simply taking time to turn off all technology and read a book or participate in an activity that you enjoy at home. Unplugging can help us to unwind and reconnect with ourselves. And our emotions will give me your feedback on that.
Shannon M. 22:28
Oh, you know, I love I love to unplug Alec forward to it. I’m looking for it in a permanent way. Okay, time and financial freedom. Don’t plug me in, actually. But it’s so important. And I started realizing it when I would go on trips with church and stuff. When I was younger, we go up to the mountains, no phones, I would still have my phone Metro. However, however they did it Metro PCS would have signal nobody else would have signal, okay. But we would be up in the mountains, watching the sunrise with the dew on the grass and being able to see the stars at night. And I said this is beautiful. We should see this more often. So now as a business owner, of course, like you said calls tech social media, things you’re supposed to be paying attention to for your key performance indicators in business. So you know what to do next, can be overwhelming when you’re trying to reach goals and revenue goals. And you feel like you’re supposed to be posting a certain amount of day or watching your ads to disconnect for me is like disconnecting from expectations, or the rush of everything when stuff is supposed to be done at a certain time. And you say you know what? This time is for me. And that’s why I love mapping my time out because it’s kind of like a budget for your time already said I could spend six hours doing this. So it might feel like I’m ready to be done at 30 minutes. But I’m going to give this disconnect time this much time because if it was work, I might stay for an extra three and not even question it. You know, I would spend it somewhere else without a consideration. So
Christine G. she/hers 24:05
I love that that time. Yeah, I love that. I am a huge fan of unplugging and disconnecting. There is a retreat center called Earth springs that I have retreated that for over 20 years in DBS Texas. And when you hit dirt road off the highway, you lose connection. And it’s always so symbolic to me because you lose connection with your cell phone and your Wi Fi and things like that. Which you immediately start connecting with your own voice and your own self and the animals around you. Like when I hit that dirt road I roll down all the windows so I can hear what animals are close by. And often there’s a hawk that guides me in to the retreat center. And I’ll sometimes see deer and owl and it’s it’s just so powerful. And you know, we haven’t gotten to retreat in person the last two years. And I really I realized like how How much of a keystone that is of my self care that once a year, twice a year retreat of unplugging and disconnecting, and not being available, like we’ve gotten to be such a, everybody’s instantaneous, and people get their feelings hurt if you don’t respond right away, and I need a couple of days to unplug. I’m, yeah, I’m about to take a little bit of that time. So when people reach out to my email, they’re gonna get that notice. But it’s Yeah, unplugging with technology in order to plug back in with ourselves. Yeah, I like that.
Shannon M. 25:36
I like what you said about, I get to listen to my voice, excuse me, because that’s really how I think about it. So at night, it’s not strictly at a certain time. But excuse me, if I know that I’m about to start unwinding and relaxing, I don’t need my phone anymore, I don’t need to see that three people like my Instagram video, because I like it too much. I’m gonna be honest, I like the likes. I like the numbers I like see, I didn’t want to like it. But I do disconnected from that. And then that picking up my phone till a certain time in the morning. So my stuff that’s supposed to be done for me is done, then I pick up my phone. And it does make me think about my voice if I see the news, or if I get on Instagram before. Now I have all these other words, literally coming into my mind into my eyes or my ears before what I think has had time to fill it up or to come out of my mouth. So that really helps me set my own tone for the day and be a thermostat, instead of a thermometer. Well, what’s going on? And how do I feel about that? No, today’s gonna be great. It’s gonna be great, because these things and this is what I’m grateful for. And this is what I’m focused on. Well,
Christine G. she/hers 26:45
I also think as a creative, right, like, it is hard to create, when we are consuming so much. Because just like you were saying about listening to your own voice, like often I have to disconnect and be with myself for poetry to bubble up, or the next article or what I’m thinking, you know, like really getting in touch with our own selves. And I love that it’s connected to emotional and mental wellness, about listening to ourselves. Have you seen that new commercial about the new computer that they’re totally capitalizing on this? No, I can’t even tell you what brand it is. But they’re there. They’re doing a new computer that has a like a fan that you can’t hear because it’s talking about listening to yourself think I so rarely I used to very rare I see commercials and it’s very rare resonate with commercials when I see him. But there’s what I was like, Whoa, like, but it didn’t catch me completely. Because I can’t even tell you what the computer. But I like the concept of yes to listening to ourselves think and what can we create out of that. So
Shannon M. 27:48
and especially the last point I’ll make too, especially as women when we’re told to, and maybe not told so overtly anymore, but still expected to be seen and not heard. It also translates to our voice and how we use it even for ourselves the things that we think about now we allow everybody else to take up more space than we take up. And that was something that was huge with deep breath and what you said, when you let it out, you let it out with the sound. And I had to learn that. I think in college when I was working at the gym, and when you work out, people breathe in and out. Some people might make fun of the way some people breathe. But I realized that I was breathing silent. I would try not to sweat, try not to breathe, too. How do you do that and work out effectively. So if you’re human, you know, Let your breath out and be able to take up space with the sound that you made. And that’s something that helped my mental and emotional wellness too.
Christine G. she/hers 28:45
I love that Well was it season one that we had our friend and colleague, shrink Raheem, spiritual grassroots practitioner that talks about breathe in, breathe out. And one of her Bebo’s is with a roar. Like, I’ve done that with groups of women before when I’ve been leading conferences and doing workshops, and it’s powerful to roar, right. Yeah, and there’s one of my favorite songs is rising, Appalachia is resilient. And in that song they talk about, I know, you’re, my voice may be tiny, and you may feel like yours is too But together, we can make a mighty roar. And I like that concept to have women being connected, that sometimes we may need it to be with somebody else, but you know joining together. All right back to this article. We’re thank you for those of us that have just joined us we’re going through this awesome article of 11 mental activity health activities that encourage emotional wellness, and we are currently on number seven, you’re going to love this one Shannon do some journaling. Do some journaling If you struggle with processing and thinking about your emotions, you may find it helpful to do journaling on a regular basis. Taking the time to write about your day, and the things that you’ve experienced can help you get better insight into the emotions that you have around the situation. As you write, you may notice that you’re able to go deeper into the situation and think about things in a different way. It may help you to realize the struggles that you’re facing, and what you can do to address them.
Shannon M. 30:28
Yeah. And are you a journaler? I yeah, I am, it’s one of the things I watch, if I get away from it, I could definitely tell how the flow of my day is different. Right. And what I mean, when I say that is, I may be shorter in conversations with other people and do a worse job at listening. To to hear and to understand, versus listening to respond. And I want to I want to put out what I want to put out in this part. But sometimes it’s not the time yet you’re interrupting this person, or you didn’t let them finish their point, because you want to get your point out. And journaling helps me go ahead and get my point out in the way I think about things, or even the details of a situation that I might not want to go to too detailed in with the people around me, but I still want to get it out. I’ll write it down. And that was something that I refocused on, after therapy at the beginning of quarantine, I went to better help calm, or I went to the app, and was able to sign up for a therapist. And she was like, well, maybe that’s something you could journal about, you know how you feel about your mom passing away. And I realized that just like in conversations with other people in my journal, there was certain things that I would left, I will leave out. So somebody read this, they would never know this part of the story. But this is very important. And you haven’t even written it down. Why don’t you want to talk about it? What’s going on with that? You know, and so I need to do better at it still, but how do you feel about this situation? That really helps. And daily journaling with the gratitude and everything helps. And in addition to that, so you
Christine G. she/hers 32:04
know, I like it. I wouldn’t say I’m a traditional journalist journey, like a traditional person who journals. I tend to go more towards the morning pages. Have you ever heard of Julia Cameron and the artist way? Maybe she’s she has this incredible book, we’ll put a link to it in the notes. That is she recommends mourning pages that are more like a brain dump where you get up and you write, I can’t. It’s kind of, yeah, it’s like 15 minutes, I can’t remember if it’s time or pages. It’s been years. And I kind of go in and out about whether I do it or not. For years, I did it every single day, religiously. And you would just sit and you’d start your day and you just write everything that wanted to come out. And then and I had pages and pages and then I got away from it. I don’t know why even as I’m talking about I’m like, oh, I should get back to that practice. Because it really, and it wasn’t really to go back and read or to have it was just to get it out to have a clean slate and start the day. And I really enjoy that practice of morning pages.
Shannon M. 33:10
Yeah, so that’s a great way to kind of describe it at the beginning three pages. Brandy,
Christine G. she/hers 33:15
thank you Brandy leaf for having my back on that three pages of mourning pages write longhand.
Shannon M. 33:21
That’s honestly how long it usually is. So at first I’ll do my 10 gratitudes. Right. And that again, I went up to 10 to challenge myself because I know I have so much to be grateful for. And because there’s been so much stuff going on. So again, grief and gratitude together, have all these things I would say that are going the way I wouldn’t want them to go even though they work out in my favor. But what am I grateful for? And then I do a brain dump of different situations or whatever I want to do. I might do a prayer one time I might do the way I feel about something another time. But yeah, I try not to have too many rules and constraints on stuff either. You know,
Christine G. she/hers 33:59
I like it. Yeah, I like it. But we know it’s good for us, right? We know Brandi Lee, do you journal three pages every morning? I would love to Yeah, I would love to know what you do in the comments. Because we know like it’s one of those practices. I know for me, it’s one of those practices that’s healthy for my mental and emotional wellness. And sometimes I get away from it. So it’s good to have an accountability buddy. Or it’s good to have somebody that says, oh, yeah, remember that that worked? Yeah. So think What do you think about this shit. And I think sometimes it goes in cycles, kind of like the seasons. Like sometimes I can do something on a regular basis, and then it drops off for a little bit and I just have to be gentle with myself. Brandy says not at all she’s laughing about it, but she dreams about it. They’re dreaming about it. Maybe the first step right is thinking about it or dreaming. But Granny’s busy raising kids and running the business and writing about Look, right? It’s kinda like journaling, right? You’re writing, you’re gonna say,
Shannon M. 35:06
again, it depends on the season, right? grandees right in her book. Now the time that you spent for writing in your journal might be the same amount of time that moved over, because that’s all the time that you have. So just like before, I was running four times a week. Now at work, I’m running up and down flights of stairs. So I was looking at my pedometer on my phone, since you had mentioned it. And it said, Kelley more day, even when I go grocery shopping, which is more walking than I will usually do if I was just at home. Because I 1800 steps, the week, nice every day. 10,000 Okay, and on a slower day, like 8000 7000, I said, No wonder I was like, I don’t need to run I need to do abs, right, and the jump rope. So we’re getting five miles in, you see what I mean? So how do you again body was the listen to your body, see how things change. And if you were journaling every day, and and now you have a walking buddy, and you have a mom, friend, and y’all are doing stuff together, then as long as you have what you need in that season, that’s what it’s about. And we can be we can be flexible and, and give ourselves grace, I know that we have the wisdom to do what we need to do with the you know the situation, it’s in the details that we have to deal with right now. I’d love
Christine G. she/hers 36:20
it. Brandy says she has a four stage war binder that she does some mornings I we’re gonna have to when she comes on as our guest, we’re gonna have to ask her about that. I have some curiosity about that
Shannon M. 36:35
war binder. What’s next,
Christine G. she/hers 36:37
right, and Judy says she would love to know about that, too, Brandy, you want some more info in that war binder. So give us some more. Give us some more info on that. And, Judy, we’re so glad you’re with us this afternoon. So the other thing we’re going back to this article of Judy’s gonna love this one, number eight, is get organized. And and the reason I say she’s gonna love this is because we have a shared friend in common melody, who’s going to be a guest on the upcoming podcast who is a professional organizer. So in order to help our emotional and mental well being number eight is get organized. Stress can have a negative impact on your emotional health. If you feel like you’re constantly being pulled in different directions, or having a hard time getting things done, taking time to get organized can be beneficial for you. This can include things like learning how to manage your time better, or learning how to set priorities in your schedule. When you are constantly on the go and feeling overwhelmed. It can be difficult to be in touch with your emotions. Taking steps to help your life run smoother, can also open up more time for you to process the situations that are happening around you and the feelings that are happening within you. Yeah, right. I know I think I always think better in a clean kitchen. I don’t know if anybody out there knows about fly lady dotnet. She’s been around for years. She is a woman in North Carolina that had a free system to teach people how to organize and clean their houses. And it was specifically for women who hadn’t been taught or didn’t feel like they knew how to do it. And you could sign up and get email notices. And I don’t know if they’ve upgraded it to text or not. But I have followed her for years. I’ll put her in the show notes, y’all. But what she would always say is start with the kitchen sink. If everything around you is chaos, start with the kitchen sink and clean your kitchen sink. And I know it sounds really silly. But I still do that to this day. If I’m feeling stressed or out of control, I will go clean my kitchen sink, and it’s shiny and bright. And like, oh, I can handle things. I got this.
Shannon M. 38:45
I love it. And that’s what I love about organization because you can really only do one thing at a time, right? So when you do that first thing, just like making your bed in the morning starts the next thing and thing after that. And especially because when things aren’t working Nice, now you’re using more time. So this was a skill that I really learned in the hospitality industry being a server and a manager at Papa Joe, you have to do things in a certain order, right? You don’t want your food that’s 30 minutes to cook before your drinks. Drink should take a certain time food should take a step each time they come out in a certain order. And then after that, we’ll just do it again and do it again and do it again. And especially as an adult and a business owner, we know that things don’t always go to plan right? So what about that I took all this energy to organize it and color coded and I came back and it was in shambles or it didn’t go the way that I expected. But that makes you better at knowing how to prioritize and knowing what to do next. And that’s where the community and the partnership power can come beside you the champion you want or tell you a better way to do it and encourage you along the way. You know, but it does get easier and then you just add more systems to it. And I love how it minimizes stress because cuz it’s a lot, right? Yeah,
Christine G. she/hers 40:02
I know. And you are the organization queen, my friend. And I know coming up next year, you’re going to be launching an organizer for our listeners and for women connected wisdom, and I cannot wait to have my coffee. So, number nine in this article, I love that this article has given us so much juicy things to talk about today about mental and emotional wellness. Number nine is think about your thinking. It can also be helpful to pay attention to your thoughts. If you find that you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts and using negative self talk, it can have a negative impact on your emotional health. Oh, we know that to be true, right? We know I think it was Dr. Cynthia Phelps who came on about self compassion. I can’t remember she season one or season or two, and inner ally. Yeah. And really catching ourselves about our thoughts. Did I tell you about this new app that I downloaded onto my phone?
Shannon M. 40:57
What was it?
Christine G. she/hers 40:58
They bought it? It’s called I Am. It’s about positive affirmations.
Shannon M. 41:03
Tell me more. You told me about it earlier today, just a little bit.
Christine G. she/hers 41:06
I love it. Actually, Cynthia is the one that told me about it. Because we are friends and colleagues and she downloaded her phone, it’s called I Am. And it’s daily affirmations, I’ll put it in the show notes. For folks, I think there’s a free version. And then there’s also I think I paid 20 bucks for a year long subscription. And what it does is it sends me 15 times a day, it sends me affirmations. And I get to choose what category so if I’m working on a certain thing, and then there’s an algorithm and I get to heart it if I like that, so it’ll give it to me more. I love it. Like cuz I can be of course I’m pretty positive because I’ve worked on this for years about positive thinking and, and watching my thoughts and looking for the good even though we know that there’s bad out there and that we have to we have to make action to correct that. But I love getting these little these little affirmations throughout the day, I’m going to look and tell you which one just came in. Because one came in recently. This is the one that came in today. This feeling will pass. Isn’t that interesting? When it’s coming about emotional mental wellness, this feeling will pass. Good or bad? That’s true, right? Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. And if it’s a tough feeling, it will go like if we’re lonely or sad or grieving. Yeah, it’s okay to be in that feeling and know that it will pass. Yeah. So yeah. Alright, so let’s look at number 10. Talk about your feelings. Number 10 is talking about your feelings is part of emotional healthy, being emotionally healthy as being able to feel and understand your feelings and emotions. This is difficult to do if you refuse to think about or talk about what you’re experiencing. Taking the time to talk about your feelings can help you see the steps that you need to take in your life. And that you can help improve your emotional and mental health. If you struggle with talking about your feelings around other people, you can start by simply talking out loud to yourself. Sometimes this can help you become more comfortable with sharing your feelings. That’s a big one.
Shannon M. 43:18
Yeah, it’s huge. And especially when I think about the culture of silence that we’ve had around certain things. That’s where I think about the grace for myself and remembering that people tell you to feel bad about talking about certain things, or that Oh, you shouldn’t feel that way because it sounds negative. But this is not me complaining, this is me, stating the details of the situation that I’m in, you know, and being able to make space for yourself. Even in an environment where people don’t always make space for you, I think is central to emotional and mental wellness, especially with women and again, being told to be seen and not heard and that what’s going on is not going on and the craziness that we have to deal with in addition to everything that we’re actually dealing with sometimes. I think that’s huge.
Christine G. she/hers 44:09
Ah, well, my friend, we have one more on this list and I have noticed that our guests is popped into our greenroom. So I’m going to wrap up this list with number 11. And then we’re going to pop our guest up in here for just a few minutes. But number 11 You’re not going to be shocked and it is something I know you and I practice on a daily basis about emotional and mental wellness. And number 11 is make a gratitude list. Some people benefit from keeping a gratitude list. This is simply making a list of things that you’re thankful for. It can be helpful to look back on this list during difficult times in your life. And it can help you to see that there are things that you have to be thankful for and positive things in your life. Focus on gratitude can be beneficial for improving your emotional health.
Shannon M. 44:59
Absolutely because you can’t avoid the fact that you have to cremate somebody, or that you need to get the house in your name and something happened or something happened with the kids or something happened with you or your partner, you you can’t ignore those things. You know, so it’s not celebrating our victories is, is like leaving celebration on the table. Usually I say leaving money on the table, but we’re leaving celebration on the table. And you know, the opportunity to hold more gratitude as we deal with the grief that is presented to us and life.
Christine G. she/hers 45:31
Yeah, that’s incredible. Well, hey, let me introduce our guests real quick and bring them up here. Here we go. Our guest today is Shamika Wallace. She is the founder and CEO of ladies living limitless. She is a former registered nurse with over 15 years of experience before she turned her focus to becoming a certified holistic wellness coach and expert, spiritual and healing guide. She has steadily been building and growing her personal brand and coaching business with one on one private coaching, small group coaching, workshops and speaking engagements. Her passion for helping others whether is whether it be as a nurse at the bedside of a patient, or as a supportive guide, and coach for her clients is apparent in her heart centered mission and vision at ladies living limitless. It is our mission to empower, encourage, motivate and inspire you to take action and make a bigger impact in your own daily life and in the world by focusing on elevating your foundation of wellness, mindfulness, and spiritual inner healing, so that you can visualize and create the health healthiest, happiest and highest version of yourself. Boy, that sure goes to what we’ve been talking about today. Well, welcome, welcome. How are you?
Unknown Speaker 46:52
Hello, hello, thank you for having me.
Christine G. she/hers 46:54
Absolutely, we’re glad you made it. So we are talking about emotional and mental wellness today.
Unknown Speaker 47:00
So important, it’s such an important topic, right? Talking about this every day, which, you know, kind of is why I do the work that I do. And you guys do the work that you do as well. And, you know, it is just one of those topics that is not talked about enough. And I know Shannon was saying earlier, you know, we were raised sometimes to be seen and not heard. You know, so a lot of those emotional, mental wellness things are kept beneath the surface. And I think at this time and juncture in life and in the world, we’re starting to see it peek out a little bit and become a little bit more acceptable. But there’s still a long way to go. And there’s still a lot of education, you know, that needs to be given to the masses around this subject and topic.
Christine G. she/hers 48:01
We I don’t know that you heard our whole list that we were talking about. So I’m going to review it real quick because I want you to give us your best mental health activity that encourages emotional wellness. But we were talking about earlier about making sleep a priority, exercising deep breathing, volunteering your time, spending time with friends, taking time to unplug, journaling, getting organized, talking about our feelings, thinking about what we’re thinking and catching ourselves making a gratitude list. Like would you add anything to that? Or is there any of those that you’re like, oh, number one every day I do it.
Unknown Speaker 48:43
Um, all of those are wonderful things. And I do incorporate all of those things into my life. Um, what I find, or what I have found with the clients and myself is when you take the time to ask yourself tough, hard questions. And I think a lot of the time we spend a lot of time getting to know other people asking about their life, you know, wondering about them and getting to learn them. And there’s not enough people connected to self and getting to learn themself. And it’s almost like I was speaking about it the other day, we come out of the womb, and we are this, you know, completely authentic self in that moment. And almost as soon as we hit this earth, we are conditioned and taught by other people, not necessarily in a bad way. But we get so far removed from that authentic, true self. And you know, when we can sit and talk to ourselves the way we would talk to somebody else, and lift ourself up the way we would lift ourselves up or lifts Somebody else up. And most importantly, like I mentioned, ask ourselves those tough questions, then you really get to learn about yourself. And so that can be incorporated with meditation time with journaling, you know, with quiet time and shutting things out. But really ask yourself questions, you know, because we feel like we already know who we are. But the person that we kind of are in this space and time as we get older, and as we grow, and we get all the, you know, lessons and conditioning and things from our parents and growing up, and grandparents and just society in the world is like, that’s the person that we know, that’s the person that we’ve become. But that’s not necessarily who we truly are. And so getting back to who we truly are at the core, by asking ourselves, you know, sometimes you have traditions that you still do just because you’ve been raised to do them, do they really align with the heart of who you are? You know, and sometimes if you ask yourself that question, you’ll find that no, it doesn’t really align with me, I’ve just been doing it, because that’s what I’ve been told to do. That’s what I’ve been taught to do. And, for me, this really became apparent. Because I was raised in a Baptist home, my father was a Baptist pastor. And so I had a moment in time in my life, where I was really struggling personally, with that organized religion aspect versus where I felt really in alignment, which was spirituality. And, you know, every religion is different, but there’s nothing wrong with religion, but it wasn’t aligned with what you know, really was in my heart and in my soul. And that was kind of that moment, when I realized that, you know, here I am feeling bad and guilty about something that’s in alignment with me, because I feel like I am being a trader, or I am going against, you know, what I’ve been told my whole life. And you know, there’s a lot of people walking around probably in that same space. And not just to say, that’s just one example. But again, kind of just going with the flow and being comfortably what I call comfortably numb with what they’ve been given, versus really investigating their true self, now that they’re in a place that they can do that.
Christine G. she/hers 52:39
I’m so glad that you bring that up. I was listening to somebody a couple of weeks ago, and I, I can’t remember who it was, you know, how we take all these seminars and do all these things as business owners. And this person said, and Shannon, I don’t know if you and I talked about this before, but they said to schedule an appointment with yourself for deep thinking time. So like to ask yourself the questions that you would ask that person you pay this money to, or that you would ask a coach or not that those aren’t important, but to remember to ask yourself, and to schedule deep thinking time with yourself at least once a week. I thought that was brilliant. And that’s right along with what you’re saying. Ask yourself those hard questions. And Shana, and I talk about this often on the show, we change as women at different seasons in our life at different cycles in our life. And we may think we know the answer, but we may have changed and didn’t check in with ourselves about it.
Unknown Speaker 53:40
It’s so true. And you know, a lot of times when we are asking other people questions, or even not even asking questions, but just like you said, we hear so much information day in and day out, no matter what you’re doing, whether it’s you know, social media, television, news, reading books, whatever it may be, we’re getting so much information and downloads from others, that we rarely make time to receive downloads from ourselves. And so again, to me that connection, and really making that time for that connection to self and to ask yourself those questions is going to just excel you in the area of emotional wellness and allow you to really just be confident in where you stand emotionally. Because a lot of times emotionally we might be a little bit on shaky ground, but that’s because we don’t know ourselves. When you understand yourself, know yourself and are confident and what you kind of stand for what you believe and what your foundation is. You’re going to be a lot stronger emotionally and mentally.
Unknown Speaker 54:52
I love that.
Shannon M. 54:54
Yeah, and I I get what you mean to about religion and spirituality. And we may, of course, have different stories from it, but really understanding that, for me, the personal relationship with God, right, if God is a jealous God, and I spend all my time with these people, if he would be mad like a partner would be, then you know what I haven’t called him today, let me talk to you know, go spend some time. And that is what continues to give me hope that I know all these things that may give me grief or working for my good. And if I don’t see it now, that means it’s not the end of the story. So to keep going, but to also remember that the situations that I see and the things that I thought defined me, them not defining me doesn’t change, that I can still be amazing. And I still have purpose, and all these things are still true. So I think growing up in that environment, like you said, that tries to mold you and shape you in a certain way. We all get to a certain age, but we have to ask, does this serve me? Does it serve me anymore? Did it ever serve me? Or was I just following somebody else’s rule? And what’s really important to me? What do I want from my life? If I find out I have five minutes left? What would I do? You know? And do I feel like I’m aligned in the things that are supposed to go for my life? And if not, if there’s things that I can’t control details of situations that we can’t let go of, then it gives me peace, to be able to let that go and give it to God. And that’s what anchors my emotional and mental wellness knowing that I don’t have to shoulder the weight of everything.
Christine G. she/hers 56:30
Okay, hold up, hold up. We have to circle back around. Yeah, let’s circle. If you had five minutes left, what would you do? Five minutes. I’ve never heard it asked that way. If you had five minutes left, what would you do?
Unknown Speaker 56:45
If I have five minutes left, I’m probably pouring a glass of wine, getting my son and hugging on him. Trying to reach out probably do a mass text to everybody and just let them know that I love them. And that I send them all the light, but I’m out to the next room.
Christine G. she/hers 57:07
Right? I would gather my people. And I love that you said that. Like I would be in a group hug. And are weak sometimes call it a cuddle puddle. You know, we’d be cuddling on the couch. And I love that group. Text everybody just saying I love you and peace out like I would. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I probably would have to go to Keela though versus one. Because you know, we got five minutes to Texas girl at heart. So she handed back to you.
Shannon M. 57:39
And it’s interesting, because I have both right now. Right? Yeah, with red wine, you have the Watermelon Margarita, you could pick from usually I don’t have that though. So I would say definitely reaching out to my brother starts in right. So I could talk to him. If they answer the phone. If not, I call it the right, this is life, this is what happens. And resting, definitely just being present in the rest of the time that I have. And that’s also why I try to live my life a certain type of way. Because if you never talk to me again, you know what it was me, you know, you know that I cared about you, we had the conversation that we needed to have. I tried to live that way, you know, and I could be at peace with whatever happens. And that is really, you know, the the emotional and mental wellness. What do I do every day? So I don’t have to worry about what I find out. I just have five minutes. Well, you only have five minutes. Now you should have spent the other time a certain way.
Christine G. she/hers 58:31
I have to change one thing about my answer y’all would you do? I would take everybody outside. Okay. Because when I think about emotional and mental wellness, and I think about like my happy place, it really is outside, it would still be with my people in a cuddle puddle. But it would be like, outside under the trees or in my labyrinth or you know, it would be like, All right, like, yeah, being close to the Earth. Yeah, I would.
Unknown Speaker 59:00
Like, you feel so comfortable when you live your life in a certain way or get to a certain point where you can live every day. You know, with the understanding that of course our our time is definitely going to come. But you can live your life and you’ve gotten to a place where you’ve done that healing work. You’ve done that emotional work you’ve gotten rid of, you know, things like shame, guilt, forgiveness within yourself and others. This is why healing work is so important and is why I really am passionate about it. Because once you kind of get over that hump and that hurdle, you don’t really have anything else left but to pursue your dreams, your goals, your passions. And then once you’ve done that, it’s like okay, well I’ve done everything that I have set out to do that I’ve needed to do and that has made me feel again, I’m pleading in alignment mind, body, soul and spirit so that when that time comes you’re not sitting there with Oh my god, I have five minutes left, I need to call until this person something or I need to try to make amends here. You know, with that five minutes, hug your family, let them know you love them have one last drink to say cheers to my good life. Yeah, my blessings to my abundance. And, you know, be comfortable with that and moving on to the next level of life wherever that is for us. Yeah,
Christine G. she/hers 1:00:25
I love I love that so much. And y’all I’m paying attention to time. So I know we’ve got to wrap this pretty quick here. But I think that’s a great way to wrap is talking about like being at peace is what you’re basically talking about with your emotional and mental wellness, like, not leaving any regrets on the table.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:47
And it’s such a beautiful place and space to be I mean, Nothing’s ever perfect, right. But if you can look at life and understand and know that life is not going to be quote unquote, perfect. But whatever comes in is brought to you as for a reason, and you take that and you learn from it, and you grow from it, and you take that and you make yourself better from it and not bitter from it, then you will be able to get to a place of peace
Christine G. she/hers 1:01:12
with so the last part well, we’re gonna have that one better from it, not
Unknown Speaker 1:01:17
from your from it not better from it. Oh,
Christine G. she/hers 1:01:21
okay. That’s our wisdom and action this week, she is make yourself better from it not bitter from it.
Shannon M. 1:01:28
And my action plan, because I love that you talk about putting things into action, right. That’s why we wanted you to be an expert on today’s show. My action plan to do that is writing a letter of forgiveness to myself, You know what I was watching out for them, I forgot to cover you, I’m gonna try not to do that again, you know, and just write it out. And I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it, I might do it in my journal or somewhere else I haven’t decided. But I’ve been procrastinating on it. And I mentioned it a few days ago. So hashtag forgiving myself.
Christine G. she/hers 1:02:00
I love that Shannon, what would be your wisdom and action for this week.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:05
My wisdom in action for this week is definitely going to be to take that next step. There’s something that’s been on my heart and in my mind that I wanted to create for a while. And I need to just, again, take action and do it. And that is creating a safe space and a sacred space in person, not just virtually. And so what I’m wanting to do is to create like a sister circle, in my area, my immediate area. And so that is on my heart and on my soul. And so I’m starting to reach out to places to be able to hold this space for women. And so that’s in action.
Christine G. she/hers 1:02:49
We will put your website and how folks can reach you in our show notes. And so they can keep up to date with what you’re doing. So when you launch it, they can know. Yeah. So Matt, thank you so much for being here with us this week. And it was so nice to chat. And we will hopefully talk to you again soon.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:08
Yes, of course. Thank you guys. Take care. Have a good rest of your day. Thank you for having me again.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:14
Absolutely.
Shannon M. 1:03:16
Thank you. Great,
Christine G. she/hers 1:03:20
right. I know we’re a little bit over today. But since she was able to make it I wanted to pop her on. So I hope our listeners have hung out with us. And I really enjoyed today’s conversation about emotional and mental wellness. There were one or two things that I wanted to give a shout out about before we left. And do you have anything you want to give a shout out about?
Shannon M. 1:03:43
Huh? No, let’s go with your shout outs. And we’ll wrap it up.
Christine G. she/hers 1:03:47
i And I’m hoping you too, are going to be a part of this upcoming free hearts wide open gathering. That is going to be an online Summit. It is coming up in the first part of November. And it is an online summit about people’s insights and inspiration. And I think there might be a few men but I think it’s mostly women that are thought leaders and coaches and teachers and healers that are going to come together and talk about ways to cultivate inner courage as you continue to navigate a hearts wide open path. So I want to put a link to that in our show notes. And I want us to so our listeners know that that’s a that’s a resource that I know I’m speaking I hope you’re speaking and I hope that we are you know continuing this women connected in wisdom and sharing these awesome resources for emotional and mental wellness. All right, my friend, anything we need to say before we close this out.
Shannon M. 1:04:50
I don’t think so. Like always lady, thank you so much for listening. And don’t forget, be well be wise and the whole See you next week for episode 41. Yes tonight
Unknown Speaker 1:05:07
thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on-air live on Wednesdays at 5 pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe be part of the conversation, and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
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