Show notes –
Join Shannon & Christine and their special guest Shannon Ivey founder of “What She Said Project” to chat about Intellectual Wellness.
This week’s resources and references:
Shealo Glo (Discount Code – WISE5)
Nominate your Shearo by emailing MyShearo@shealoglo.com
https://www.whatshesaidproject.com/
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/16/us/tamir-rice-justice.html
https://www.vox.com/2016/9/14/12914370/white-house-obama-women-gender-bias-amplification
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
Donate supplies the the Girls’ Write Camp
Donate $$ to the Girl’s Write Camp – Cash App! $whatshesaidproject
Show Transcript –
NOTE: While it’s not perfect, we offer this transcription by Otter.ai for those who are hearing impaired or who don’t find listening to a podcast enjoyable or possible.
Christine Gautreaux 0:08
Let’s do this.
Shannon M. 0:08
Okay ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female, millennial entrepreneur, the founder of shallow glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine Gautreaux 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show.
Christine Gautreaux 0:44
And we get together every week to have intentional conversations about how to be wise in business, relationships and wellness. best job ever.
Shannon M. 0:56
Yeah, really.
Christine Gautreaux 0:58
So we’re talking about intellectual wellness? Can we remind our listeners about the definition of intellectual wellness?
Shannon M. 1:07
Absolutely. So intellectual wellness refers to active participation in Scholastic, cultural and community activities. It is important to gain and maintain intellectual wellness, because it expands knowledge and skills in order to live a stimulating successful life. In order to improve intellectual wellness, it is important to value creativity, curiosity, and lifelong learning. And this definition is from the University of Illinois.
Christine Gautreaux 1:37
Lifelong learning. Yeah, I love that piece of that. That definition because, you know, often when you think about intellectual wellness with wellness, or at least I did before we started having these conversations. I mean, think about, oh, you’re in school, or you’re out of school, right? And that’s not what it’s about. It’s about always, like seeking knowledge. And like, how do we engage in that? You know, you and I’ve had the conversation before, because we’re both big readers, like one of the ways we take in information is reading new books. And I had to laugh one man today, and I can’t even quote it because it’s downstairs, I should have brought it upstairs. But this book comes in the mail. And I was like, oh, did I order that? or did somebody send it to me? And I vaguely remember us having a conversation about it. You and I are having a conversation about shaders. It’s almost like, did we talk about this in the last pot? It was one of those is still a mystery, but it was about shifting. It was about shifting our conversations and relationships. Does that sound familiar to you?
Shannon M. 2:41
Oh, man, between conversations that you and I have had, or a book that I’ve read recently, no, but I’m interested because you do have to change sometimes. And a lot of times, what I found is that, myself included, I felt in genuine, I felt like at my job, people were asking me to be somebody who I wasn’t if you’re asking me to change, but I learned to adapt to my audience. Basically, who are you talking to, you know, be mindful of who you’re talking to. And then make sure that you’re still genuine in yourself, your values and how you see yourself, you know, so shifting is necessary, but doing it in a healthy way is also necessary. So I’m interested in what alright,
Christine Gautreaux 3:23
it’ll be a surprise. We’ll put it in the show notes.
Surprise, Surprise. Christine can’t remember the name of Reddit. I am so excited to bring on our guests today. Are you ready? Or do Is there anything else we need to say before we jump into our guest segment?
Shannon M. 3:46
No, nope. I think we go ahead and jump into the conversation.
Christine Gautreaux 3:50
Y’all. I am so excited to introduce today’s guest, y’all. She is a personal friend of mine, a co collaborator and an all around amazing human being. And that being said, I’m going to read a little off her official bio because y’all know I don’t want to screw it up. So here we go. Shannon IV. MSAA is the founder and CEO of the what she said project. Shannon is from Memphis, Tennessee, a professional actor, director, educator, TEDx speaker, coach and creative disrupter. That’s one of my favorite things. In her bio creative disrupter. Ms. Ivey has taught theatre and applied storytelling to all ages for over 20 years, and uses her skills in storytelling to train professionals in a variety of community building and engagement ways. She holds a BA in theatre from Mississippi University for Women and an MFA and acting from UNC Greensboro. So I added this, you know, I took her long bio and I pulled out a couple of pieces, but this one like really excited me So I’m going to read this part in 2015. Shannon coordinated the first Mostow story story slam series in South Carolina, supported by the NEA and as South Carolina Arts Commission. These have continued in Columbia, South Carolina under the name so to see the story slam in the what she said project, she in 2016 Shannon premiered a solo show the natural disasters of the humankind, which premiered at Indie grits Film Festival and then toured the country for the next year. She followed this with a multimedia installation called the dirt project, which premiered it integrates in 2019. Shannon often blurs the line between art activism, education and advocacy. Whoop. Her work blends genres of self development, creative nonfiction, essay performance, creativity, memoir, and testimony. She resides in Columbia, South Carolina, where she grows many cucumbers and lives with her daughter Zoey, and Pandemic pooch, Buster. I am so excited to introduce shell to my friend and colleague Shannon IV. Glad to be with you do. Thank you.
Shannon M. 6:19
Welcome to the show. SHANNON I love having two Shannon’s on
Christine Gautreaux 6:23
to you outnumber
Shannon Ivey 6:27
my graduating class when we write when we do a writing prompt when I do these group writing prompts. One of them is tell me the story about your name. And so I usually lead with if they haven’t heard it, there were six Shannon’s in my graduating class. And each Shannon had a descriptor. And I was so glad that I was scary. Shannon. There are other things like I maybe could have been scary, but I was fine arts Shannon. So no matter what I’m like, thank you. That’s right. Fine Art Shannon. I’ll take it. Curious what kind of Shannon if we graduated together with Shannon you would have been?
Christine Gautreaux 7:07
Okay, can I name it?
Shannon M. 7:08
I need to think about it naming what would you say?
Christine Gautreaux 7:11
Shannon? The organizer? Or seeing the planner? First shape? Because I like alliteration. Shannon the shape?
Shannon Ivey 7:20
I love alliteration.
Christine Gautreaux 7:22
I know you do.
Shannon M. 7:23
I like that. I do. And I like transitional periods. I like helping people whether it’s in business when I was on RA on campus, I had freshmen helping them through that transition smoothly. So I like Shannon, the shaper. Planner, what think about like, what do you think Shannon? Like it?
Shannon Ivey 7:43
Who I do like Shannon, the shaper. It’s got coach, it’s got coach bags in it. It has autonomy and agency hope and creativity. I like it.
Christine Gautreaux 7:54
Right? Well, and that is Shannon, Shannon Mitchell, all those words you just said can be applied to both of y’all. And it’s in my life. Well, Shannon, I know we have so many things we can talk about today. But one of the reasons we wanted to have you come on today and talk about intellectual wisdom is I know that you are the visionary and the founder of the what she said project. And y’all are doing some really cool community work over there with young women and folks who identify as women and tell us about the your writing camp that you have going on.
Shannon Ivey 8:35
Okay, so in the pandemic, I should first give credit to there’s a national camp called Girls Rock Camp. So I don’t know if you know about Girls Rock, but I have a daughter, and you have to be seven years old to participate. So I was like one of the moms that was completely just a fan girl about this camp, like these girls learned to play an instrument and work together and write, like their own song in a week. And it’s very empowering. So finally, when my child turned seven, it was her first year and she’s been at it ever since. Turns out she’s really good at drums. I don’t know. So I’m like watching this. I began volunteering there and just watching how they organized it. And my pandemic bomb and really like my life. Really, the truth of me is like this whole time I’ve been a writer, and I’ve been working on letting that voice out in various ways. And I thought, oh man, was the camp I wish I had had. And I was like, I wish there had been a writing camp for girls, where I didn’t have to be like a character in somebody else’s play or have boys cast me have an MFA in acting. So that’s really like most of my career, boys words, voice casting, and I was like, no offense, boys. But I was like, I wish there were a way that we could just harness all of that and just take it out of the male gaze just for a minute and see what would happen. And I made the I just made it up out of my head. And then I said, Okay, what do I need to do it? I need funding. And so I made a bunch of stuff. And I raised money in a way I’d never done before. And I got like, I just needed to learn some fundraising skills. So I funded it, and not one, I think, and I’ll know by ooh, I might know, by tomorrow, or the next day, if I funded the second week. So the first week is girls, right? For theater, like Scripps. And I have I recruited my one of my favorite drama teachers, she’s with me, and we’re teaching it this week, we joined with the Boys and Girls Club. And so we, it’s so great, because we just like, what is the best way to get the most bang for our buck? Where are the Where did the students not have a drama teacher, let’s go right there to their summer camp. So my friend is the curriculum developer, and we figured it out. And then I’ll do one for poetry. And I recruited a wonderful professional poet and jazz singer named ebony RAM. So I’m hoping I’ll know from the humanities, South Carolina humanities, if I got that grant, which means I funded girls write poetry and performance. And then we’re on the books of the same thing with Boys and Girls Club later in July. That’s just the beginning. It’s going so well, Martha, my other drama teacher, we want to expand it, which means we need more money, which means we’ll be raising more money, because it’s just a great fit. It’s just working. So we want to grow it.
Christine Gautreaux 11:25
I am so excited about this Shannon, and in excited about for so many reasons. I love that you had an idea. And you’re like this is needed. Also, knowing a lot of times with creative ideas and new projects, there’s no money for it. Or we got a lot of folks that are struggling right now coming out of this pandemic. And they may want to send their kids to camp, but there may not be extra money for it. So I love that not only did you have the idea, but you figured out how to fund it, and impact these girls lives in a way that may change it forever.
Shannon Ivey 12:02
It’s so hard to leave them every day. Like the first day we have like, well, they pull them out of a day camp, right? So there’s a specific population, but they pull them out of a camp and just the girl. So they’re very confused. They’re like, why are we here?
And then-
Christine Gautreaux 12:18
-natural talk that we get.
Shannon Ivey 12:20
And they’re just like, we already know about that. We this lady, but every time you leave, like today’s group, we asked, What’s your favorite thing? We were with him for two hours, we asked him what’s your favorite thing? And they said things like, I feel so confident about my voice. And I’m so glad I got to tell my story my way. And it was all these things like, gosh, can you tell me that as an adult? Like, I’m soaking it in? I’m like, go home and write Shannon IV go home, right? Do you know like they’re showing us? And then they’re like hugging us. They’re like, do you come back tomorrow? When will we see you again? I’m like, Well, now that you have the magic of being a playwright and an actor and storyteller, we will always know each other because we’re connected. Right? So I’m going to find you again, you’ll find me. And so we have to say goodbye. That’s so hard when it’s like four of them on me. And I’m like, I’ll find you. I’m going to make a camp. We’ll be back. So yeah, it’s gratifying Look at me. I’m like, you get it. So
Christine Gautreaux 13:23
well, you know, self and community care is a thread that goes throughout my whole work. And I am just, I just, I like it. Well, it fits all those buckets, right? Like, it’s all those buckets. And I remember when you have this seed of an idea and to see it. It’s been like two years ago. Yeah. It’s been a minute, but takes you a minute to see you manifest it. Yep. And do this incredible work for your community is so inspirational. Like anybody can do that. Like if you see a need and you have a talent and you want to bring it bring it.
Shannon Ivey 14:11
Can I tell you something interesting, though. So I want to talk I don’t want to like sugarcoat it like it’s been easy. I mean, it’s not it’s not not easy, but a fascinating thing has happened as I’ve advertised it, would you Is it okay to talk about like the real talk.
Christine Gautreaux 14:26
Oh, that’s what we’re about on this show. So absolutely. Look,
Shannon Ivey 14:31
I don’t know what’s going on with people, but I think people have some pent up pandemic fury. So as I’ve been raising money, there have been a few things that I was like, What’s going on with this one happened recently that I found fascinating. So there’s like a local like South Carolina theater educators. And I posted the link when I thought I was going to do it virtually. I posted the information about it in that group. It was going to be a free camp. This person came for me, came for me. And so it was day when I was still in the building mode. And I hadn’t like figured out if it was going to really fly, so I was still in this mode, but talking about it, like it was already happening. I had the money to do one week, still not to. He said, he started questioning me in a way on Facebook, that was like grandstanding. You know, like, why is this writing camp in a theater group? And I’m like, I am a professional. Like, I had to check my mic, Shannon. And I just think about like, am I going to a nobody’s doing? So that whole time I had to practice I had to, like, check in with my body, and be like, I know what he’s doing. And anyone who believes him saying that I’m being discriminatory to boys. Anyone who believes him would not be my people. And so I had to be generous with them. And it was hard. Because this whole group of people, they don’t know me, you know, so they’re just watching this interaction. I’m like, Hey, I see you have a desire to make sure all kids get expert, professional level instruction in the summer. And I would love to build something, I would love to talk to you about this, I love to do this. I offered in many ways. And so it was like it checked it. But it also made me realize that I needed to be even more specific about who I was doing this for and why. So it’s not for everybody who gets access to the community theater, and everybody’s parents who can bring them to these, you know, get these special instruction now with the kids that don’t have a drama teacher. I want the creative kids that don’t that don’t quite know what the weirds about, you know, or feel a little like, they don’t fit and I want to go right to them. So because of it in that moment helped me go wait a minute. That’s what I want to do this for. So I call my friend and I’m like, would be great Academy Boys and Girls Club, would you help? Would you sign off? And they were like, yes. And I was like, Well, I’ve got it funded. They were like, yes. And then what we’re getting from the kids is like my co teacher said, Had you told me and when I first said yes to you, I wouldn’t have wanted to go to these clubs, because I would have thought that they would have hated it or had been like some stupid to do. And these kids are so thirsty for it. They’re like, I love us. And thank you do you know, it’s like really gratifying. So just reminds me that I’m not for everyone, my stuff is not for everyone. And the more specific I get, the more it feels like that. And that’s a great place to grow from. So I learned so much from it, although that guy was such a jerk.
Christine Gautreaux 17:45
It’s, uh, I know, she even can add in on this too. But you know, that’s real, right? Especially for women. There, we’ve seen this years after years and and things happen that we put things out there. And the man comes and says something about it. And I think we’ve talked about it on this podcast before but I know you and I, the three of us have talked about it. You know, Brene Browns podcast, browns podcast, when she went to Spotify only. There was this comment, I follow her. She was one of my instructors in grad school. There was this comment, like the week she went live on Spotify only that said, and it was announcing this new episode. And there’s this white male commenting on her thing. This is Brene I went to find your podcast and it wasn’t available. Maybe you don’t want to advertise it until it’s up. And her response was, we are only featured on Spotify now. Thank you very much. Like I thought even like, it is a reality. And people that are not women are gonna identify as women may not have experienced this reality of, you know, Shannon, you want to pop in Shannon Mitchell. We got to Shannon.
Shannon M. 19:06
I mean, I think all right, no. alza every time you say Shannon, my guest Yes. But I think that’s one of my favorite things about your platform. Shannon is the name of it. What she said, You know, when I hear it, the first thing that pops into your head and that I think of is a joke, right? Oh, that’s what she said. And everybody’s trying to be funny. But when do you take what women say seriously? Like, what did that mean to have it and you know, why does it have to be a punch line after something I say? I’ve really i i tried to turn it off. Sometimes, especially with the race glasses with the gender glasses. There’s almost nothing that I can look at. I’m like, I could break it down. You know, we start looking at movies and cartoons. And the woman talks. She drops the ball. She fumbles. She doesn’t she literally talks like a baby. She does not make articulated points. Even that girl was hindering the mission. She got herself caught. Batman had to come savor and then when she got shot, she got shot in the womb. I’m like, What is going on? I thought I was watching Batman, I thought I liked Batman, you know. So I love bringing it back to thank you for telling my story. You know, I was listening to excuse me, I was reading this article about Tamir Rice, his mother, actually and how when she was finally on the platform to speak to the public, she had been so coached and managed that she was highly frustrated, which is understandable, given the situation. And she didn’t get to use her voice. And I was upset when I read that article, because I hadn’t thought about that. So that is why I love what you do. I love teaching young girls how to articulate what they mean and show them that they have space to well, what do you think, actually, because I think it’s really easy to, even if it’s a round table situation, go around the table. And if she shy and doesn’t put her foot out there, sometimes it could be a situation where it might not hear from the woman or her point gets overlooked, or it gets cut off. I’ve had that happen, you know, mid sentence. And so again, we never hear it. So that’s one of my favorite things about it, teaching young ladies to not only use their voice, use it in a creative way. And then give them the confidence, confidence and licensure to go forth in their life continuing to do that, because I think is absolutely necessary.
Shannon Ivey 21:34
You might find this fascinating, but it started with grown women. So the whole what she said project, like the girls is like going back to what I wish, but it started with story slams. And when I put out a call, there was like, literally like 25 men who were like, I’ll tell a story, and no women. And I’m like, hold on a minute. I know brilliant women in town. And they’re not putting their foot forward. And so I thought about this. And I thought back to the Obama White House, when there was a in the White House, they were talking about how women in meetings get talked over ideas get taken, they don’t get credit. And so they wanted to amplify women’s voices by pointing back to who said it. So especially if someone like usurps it, then they’re like, oh, yeah, that was Yolanda’s point. And then that was like an like an important point that we’re doing this for each other to not let women get interrupted or let their ideas get usurped. And so it’s fascinating my grown women friends who are like you both fascinating, intellectual, creative, heartfelt, like they are part can I say, on your podcast, can a customer podcast, they’re badass is in their field that like international researchers knew like accomplished. And then they’re like, sounds like Okay, so what if, because I went women’s college what if I held a space where they didn’t have to worry about any gendered management of other people’s expectations? And they still do it. So I’m working through it. A podcast we move into doing a podcast because a pandemic and it’s actually fascinating when they’re working on their own piece. Some of my more shy people are more willing to try so I’m just I’m always fascinated about this because we need to hear and listen and and expand our ability to be uncomfortable while we’re working to craft our story.
Christine Gautreaux 23:42
I don’t know. I love that Shannon. Now they can find your podcasts at the what she said.com
Shannon Ivey 23:51
But they can also find it anywhere that you find your podcast so it’s like on Spotify iTunes like you put hashtag what she said project and you’ll find
Christine Gautreaux 23:59
it Alright, so where are you find women connected and with some podcasts, you can find what she said project podcast and love it. Rolla
Shannon M. 24:08
and Chrissy you know what I say? And I don’t know if you caught it. Well, Shannon just said but she said all this stuff that she knows. And then she said, I don’t know. That’s what that’s what we got to do. Now. You said what you meant. Yes,
Shannon Ivey 24:23
it’s true. I do this like Boosh. Thank you for that she and I just got coached I needed that
Shannon M. 24:35
that’s what we do a women connected in wisdom.
Christine Gautreaux 24:39
Right? We live like it is. So she an IV. I want you to talk a little bit about because this is one of my favorite stories of you. And I think it is will resonate with a lot of our listeners. So for folks that don’t know, Shannon IV and I at the beginning of the pandemic or or CO leading some zoom how to. We had it how to do performance how to do presentation. I mean, we went through so many names, but you know, really how not to suck on Zoom. That was one of our favorites. Not some people love it. Some people hate it. But one of the stories you told on there ties back to your bio, about your one woman show, and about doing it all. So will you tell that story because I think it is so vital for our listeners.
Shannon Ivey 25:37
Oh, so. So I write this one woman show which I enjoy. Simplicity. Obviously I enjoy. I enjoy things. I enjoy simplicity. And so I wrote this show that had about, I don’t know 12 To 16 characters in it. And I played all of them. I decided I didn’t need lights, I had the show and wigs and added like a scarf they used for different things is very creative. I tried to run the sound from my pocket. But the thing about your brain is that your brain really good do more than one thing. So it’s a good cue myself. And then to like get it to work in my pocket over it was just like is that the one you want me to tell? I was like, Yeah, this woman who like we had become Facebook friends. He was actually in one of the cities where I was performing. And she was like, Can I just help you run sound. And I’m like, and so but then it was fascinating because I realized, and I don’t know, like what the metaphor is in this because I haven’t talked about it like this before. I hadn’t allowed someone near my work. And I didn’t have a script where someone else was involved. And it was I probably needed her in before I had her in to really relax. Because it’s still my piece was still vulnerable, the now it was high quality, but it was vulnerable. And so I now know about myself that I need to like check that it’s like do I am I scaling and at that moment I was creatively scaling. And it would have been really great for me to write a bigger grant. And then to get the help that I actually needed. Because I think I would have had a better experience. And that actually is the whole point.
Christine Gautreaux 27:33
Well, I thank you for sharing that story with us. What it brings up for me is often as women, we try to do it all ourselves. And it’s kind of ingrained in us like we’re supposed to do this, we’re supposed to do that. We’re supposed to do digit two digit. And to forget to ask for help or forget to say I need to write that bigger grant, I need to ask for more in order to bring my full self. And so it’s a powerful story. And it’s funny when when you push your comedic timing is always so good. But when you talk about running the sound from your pocket, I just couldn’t see it so clearly.
Shannon Ivey 28:13
I even tried it in my bra. But I like to figure out a new way to lay down like I was just trying to meet my own needs in the least way possible. Like let me just get this the sake, I’ll be so impressed that I can do all of the nope, it just didn’t work well. And it was yes. So next time shall bring sound person.
Christine Gautreaux 28:34
Right? Well, we talked about when we were doing our classes together, how it’s hard to be all things for all people and using different parts of your brain like using the tech part of your brain. And your creative part of the brain may not work at the same time that it’s okay that we’re not meant to be on this journey alone. Like that’s why this podcast is called Living connected in wisdom. Like let’s lift each other up and support each other and our and your sound for you my friends like you. Say go Shannon, you were gonna say something Shana Mitchell.
Shannon M. 29:08
Yes, I think that’s so interesting. And I remember this story, your your class on confidence on camera definitely helped me during the pandemic. But I think I usually go back to business when I think about people trying to do everything themselves, right. I think after we get over using our voice or having the confidence to say, You know what, I can do this, we take it to the extreme and take it all the way to the other side. And I need to do this and show them like he said, show them that I can do this by myself. I also think it’s probably something that affects women a little a little more than men, you know, because usually we’re the ones that they outsource to, oh, I need somebody to take care of the house while I’m working. That’s a woman’s job. Anything that you know was second there behind the scenes or let’s say might not The highest paid position, that’s usually a woman’s job. And so when we step into the predominant role, it gets difficult to know what to ask for delegation is a is a skill, I had to learn that as a manager, not only do you need to be educated and competent enough to know what to actually do, to pull off all these roles that you were literally playing at the same time. But then you also have to know how to effectively ask for help, how to delegate to the right person, what are your strengths and weaknesses. And that’s a whole nother thing, especially when you’re coming from a position of being taught that you don’t ask for help. If you see that something needs to be done, you’re the person to do it. So handle it. So yeah, coming for that lesson.
Shannon Ivey 30:43
Well, it makes me think of I was in our bounced Group. Today, we were looking at unconscious beliefs and like, how do you know what’s unconscious? I mean, it’s all gorgeous. No one’s there. Well, I’m thinking back about it. Now, as a coach, I’m like, Oh, I know what the question was me doing that show. The question was, can I write and successfully tour a one woman show? I didn’t. I didn’t catch up with myself because I answered the question quickly. And then I didn’t scale. Like that was me right there. And that actually is a great thing for me to be reminded of it’s like, I think the questions back here, but then zoom past it. And they’re new questions like, so thank you for that. Embodied realization. It’s happening here
Christine Gautreaux 31:32
to tell folks more about your house group.
Shannon Ivey 31:36
Oh, yes. So I am a coach in August, I will have that ICF certification symbol I have passed. Yes. So I coach folk, myself a creative. They call me the creative fairy godmother. I like to call myself a motivational midwife. So I have private. I’m like, Yes, we’re going to birth your new project might be too much for some people. But I decided that the thing that people were asking me for was a group, all focused for a short amount of time on the best tools that I teach my clients and I use myself. So I launched a new thing. Literally two weeks ago, it all came together in my head, I put it down it was a cutie Bo you in everyday there’s the letter means that thing, we learn a concept and we apply it the bounce method. So we have a Facebook group called you got bounce method. I’m doing this free one week retreat, I’ll do another one in the fall. And introduces a concept and introduces into my work. So people get a taste of it in action. That’s what we’re doing this week. It’s so great. People can still join us if they’re listening. And they’re like, Oh, I wanted to join. Come on. It’s never too late.
Christine Gautreaux 32:55
That’s awesome. And we will put a link to it in the show notes. So it’s easy for folks to find you. Yeah, that’s cool. So what’s your favorite thing that you talked about? Like you said today, you were really excited. So you want to just share just a smidge
Shannon Ivey 33:10
Oh, well, I so people who Enneagram do you guys Enneagram at all I
Shannon M. 33:16
was gonna ask you what that is? Oh,
Shannon Ivey 33:19
Enneagram is just like Myers Briggs or other self knowledge. Christina love this my new catchphrase. Are you ready? Self knowledge is self care. So, Earl, it is early in the pandemic. I kept pristine. Oh, I don’t know if you know this. So finally, after a year of working from home, and living in a home, Rahel space or on my body, my MBTI Myers Briggs changed. I knew I knew it. I’m an introvert. I had no idea. And I had all of this mess around me meeting downtime. I’m a theater kid, right? Like I I like humans. I just did a lot of recovery. But I felt such shame around it. Like, I don’t know why I did. Because I needed that dumb test to change. Well, there’s another test that a lot of millennials actually and evangelical Christians like, it’s called the Enneagram. And you can look it up. And you can take a test and there’s many free ones, you don’t have to pay for it. And then the Enneagram test is like the Myers Briggs and that it tells you something maybe about yourself. I took one early in the pandemic and I felt like I had been diagnosed. I tested and I’ve tested many things, but it landed at the same time as introvert. So I tested as an EIGHT and an EIGHT is a challenger. Oh no. And there aren’t many challenger women that people like and I’m like, Oh no. Oh knew the here’s the thing. I’m an eight wing seven, and a seven tends to be. They like things to be fun, they’re engaging, they have a lot of energy. So knowing that I have created a new this career path makes such sense. So when people have a thought that is getting in the way of the thing that they want to do, I am so good at being like, I hear a thought underneath that, can I ask you about it? And they’ll say, yeah, and I’ll be like, I had a client today, who she’s like, she’s had so much death and grief, like very close to her. And she have on a consoles, like, I’m not obvious, I’m not going to tell her name, because it’s all private. But of course, you guys know that. But she said, I have no give a shit left. I literally care about nothing. I knew this already about her. And in 20 minutes. On day three of this program, I whispered enough, I was like, Yeah, you give a shit about something. She was like, I have nothing to write. She’s a writer. She’s in tenure track position. And we got her to finally allowing in the grief and allowing in like what the reality of our situation was, she came up with it. I just asked questions, Challenger. And she got to she’s going to write about teaching Shakespeare through her grief of her partner suicide. That’s what she’s going to write about. And she hasn’t been able to give a shit in years. And that makes me so happy. Like, all I did was I was the container and I just asked the questions. That’s what I want to do. I’m like, bring me bring it to me. D Are you like existential crisis? Two fours? Have you had a terrible diagnosis? Like, what is it, that’s what bounces for? Like, you can’t get to like the heights of life. If you have no home, like we’re going to look at hierarchy of needs, we’re going to welcome it all in. And then we’re going to like, see where you want to go. And I’m just going to ask questions. I love that. So it makes so much sense, because I know better now, after the after the pandemic, I just took the time to check in. Well,
Shannon M. 37:13
and before the show, we were talking about bounce, right, we were talking about reflection, and let me see in creation. And I can tell you, one, I think we’re a lot of light chain, and I’m interested to see what my Enneagram is. But I would say to you right now, where the world is going, I think challenge your women are very necessary. So I’m happy to be in your company. And it helps for these reasons, you know, when you look back, and you realize that there are unconscious bias is when there is things that you believe about your life, or the way that we attach ourselves to stories, or the outcome of the stories or any of the things that can go under that umbrella. I think it’s necessary challenges, you know, when I look back at the lies that I was believing about my life, so you know what, actually, that’s not true. Neither is that, neither is that. And this is what I was basing how I felt about myself and then my potential on. So what would you say to how you would go back to it again, specifically reflect and then how that helps you in your creation process.
Shannon Ivey 38:16
So I would take a body based approach. So there’s a mind based approach. And there’s a body based approach, I like to connect them together, like my first tip would be, if your lizard brain if you’re in fight or flight, which I have been in for a long time, calm it first. So if you can get yourself whatever you need to get to a place of calm. So that’s where the word grows from. And there are lots of ways in your connected with Christina know, Shannon, you’ve got practices, too. So whatever that is for you. I use breath and movement. And then I want to like, if I was working with a client, I would then have them notice when they think about something that they want, what is their brain say about it? And I just write it down? Like would Can you some of my clients are just in the beginning phases of saying I want, I wish. So if that’s where you are start, they’re like, can I have what I want? And then notice what it says when it says nope, nope, nope. What I do is I work with my clients on how to de personalize that by learning about the brain. And the brain is trying to keep you safe. And so I’ve learned to put my nope, in the back seat because mine worries like a love language. I might have learned that from my parent. One of them worries as the sixth love language. So I’m like I don’t I don’t shame them on like you’re trying to keep me safe. Mama’s got this. I got this. Watch this. So I give them some to do you go work on that. And I’m going to do this. So as there are many people Do these, I’m gonna give you two resources. There are many people who have these self coaching models, because people may be listening. They’re like, I can’t afford a coach. Well, they’re many price points. But two people’s work I would recommend right now would be number one, Byron, Katie. Byron, Katie has four questions. And you said the first one, so I want to make sure you know of it. Byron, Katie says, Is it true this thought, Is it true? I have a friend who tells me like, I can hear it talking about herself. And she’ll say I’m dumb. And I’m like, is that true? How do you know that’s true? Is that really true? That second question is, can you prove it? It’s true, Byron, Katie says it a different way. Third thing for body based people? Where does that live? Like in your body? How do you feel when you say that? If that thought makes you feel gross, we need to take it out. So then the practice is, how do you move it through? That’s where you can be creative. The fourth is, who would you be without that thought? What would you let yourself do? How would you feel like how would it affect your whole life? Byron Katie’s work great for that. The second one is, there’s this thing called the model, you can just look it up self coaching model, I think, man, her name just left me, I’ll give you the name of the coach. I learned it from The Life Coach. I listened to some of her stuff. She’s a high powered life coach, but she taught this thing called the model. And the model helps you deconstruct your thoughts to this nice, simple, like, what is the circumstance? Is it neutral? What your thought about it? Which feeling about it? How is it influencing your actions, because our behaviors are being led by our thoughts? And then finally, what are the results? I have coaching friends that do this practice for themselves daily? For me, I like to start with the feeling. I’m like, Well, I’m not. I’m a body based feeling person. I’m like, summers off. And then I get in there and I start from the feeling I’m like, was making me feel like I’m nervous or I’m feeling a little irritated. Do you know what’s that about? So then I start, you can go you can start anywhere I start right there. I’m like, Oh, I’m avoiding something. Why am I avoiding it? And then I’m very gentle and loving to myself, the mama challenge. I’ll challenge myself, like Santa what? What’s happening? And I’m like, Oh, I’m afraid I’m going to find out bad news or whatever it is. And I’m like, No. Are you? Is it true that you did bad news is gonna come as a true to share about that? Can you prove it’s true? Or can you ask and find out? You know, and so I just like have learned, for me feeling and body based stuff is the way I would go in. I will think of that coach’s name in just a second. But those are the two little things. So reflection, self reflection. We have to start there. And then that helps us create the next thing we can’t create from what we can but you won’t like it.
Christine Gautreaux 43:10
Shannon Are you referencing Brooke Castillo?
Shannon Ivey 43:12
Yes, Castillo
Christine Gautreaux 43:13
yes co center. Very
Shannon Ivey 43:16
interesting. She’s very like, if you want to make a lot of money, but that thought model. It’s really helpful for some people. Byron Katie, is that is it true is a great speed bump laser. I told a cooking friend. I’m like I’m bad at dating. And she has is that true? Thanks. Speed Bump. Right.
Christine Gautreaux 43:39
Right. Such good things to notice such good things to notice. Yes.
Shannon M. 43:45
I love that. Thank you.
Christine Gautreaux 43:47
Yeah. So I am paying tense to our time ladies and I have loved this conversation. But it is about that time to wrap but Shannon IV we are going to do something on our show that we have never done before. Before we put you back on the green room I am. Well we got two things we need to do when he just talked about our wisdom and action. And then I’m passing to Shannon, for a little shallow glow info. So Bryce, if you ping us for just a second, let’s talk about wisdom and action for sure. So when we think about intellectual wellness, what is our wisdom and action this week? Like what is something that we want to commit to? That we want to commit to? We could hashtag wisdom in action? What would that be for you Shannon IV
Shannon Ivey 44:44
put myself on my calendar. Block off time intentional creation time on my calendar so no clients can get in it and I’m like, there you go.
Christine Gautreaux 44:57
That’s a great one. That is Got Eugene and Mitchell.
Shannon M. 45:02
I actually did a good job at writing down myself on my calendar. But I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet. So I have some time coming up this weekend. And I think I’m going to stay right there and focus on what do you want to do for yourself? I feel like I need to, I used to be better at it. I got away from it in the quarantine some days. And so I’m going to look at that a little bit more. What about you, Christine?
Christine Gautreaux 45:28
I am really looking at my list of things I want to read and blocking off about 10 minutes a day for books that impact my work. Because I remember I don’t remember who said it, I may have been at a Jack Canfield retreat, when he it’s something like if you will study your craft, for 10 to 15 minutes a day, within a year you will be the leading expert of your craft. Because most people don’t study their own craft, like they get this certificate or they get the degree or they get the this and then they stop learning and they end. So that piece and I know none of us on this call do this because I know y’all personally and we like to learn, but I want to re up my books and make sure they’re in the right order. Because I always have books that I’m reading about, about the work. So yeah. So alright, I am passive. You Shannon Mitchell for talking about shaylen Blow.
Shannon M. 46:29
Okay, so I’m so excited. Shannon, I don’t know if you know this, but I have a little glow. Right, which is a handmade shea butter company. It has right now we have a dark brown sugar scrub and a multi use oil. The oil is great. It’s the summertime throughout the day, the Jade butter might be too heavy. But I’m not here to talk about the details. Right now we’re talking about the sheriff. And since we have the suspense already, I’m going to tell you that you are Shea row for the month of June. And yes, that is because of all your work that you’ve done in the community. You using your time to give young women and women in general their voice the skills that they need to reflect and be creative and be more of who they are as a person. That’s the type of person that the shallow glow Shea row is. So I would love to honor you this month. And again, say thank you for everything that you’ve added to our lives.
Christine Gautreaux 47:26
She’s gonna send you a yummy care package for taking care of yourself, it’s gonna our house, you get the whoop, you’re the June Shea. You get a package to take care of yourself with because we know you’re so busy taking care of other people. So
Shannon Ivey 47:46
that is the most luxurious time I take for myself. I so enjoyed that too. Thank you so much.
Christine Gautreaux 47:55
Thank you for being with us today and having this. And we will put all your info in our show notes for folks who are listening after today. So they can find you and find your work and connect with you. And if there’s a way that they want to donate to the sheet camp, support these young women, is there a way to do that on your website? Oh,
Shannon Ivey 48:18
I will send you I do have like a Venmo like for what she said project. So that wasn’t it’s all the same fun. So that’s the I think it’s the best way to do it right now.
Christine Gautreaux 48:29
Right? We’ll put that in the show notes with a dome. So if somebody’s listening, and they’re like, oh my gosh, this is the most fabulous project I’ve ever heard of. And I want to give her money. This is how you can do it. So
Shannon Ivey 48:42
Oh, I love that because we’ve got actually I still need some notebooks. Oh, you know what I do have? My favorite thing I made was an Amazon wishlist I notice on and it like brings notebooks and pens and stuff just arrived and people just like send gifts the girls I get
Christine Gautreaux 49:00
that link to that link too. Oh, thank you so much for taking time to be with us today. I know you got a lot going on my friend. So your work in the world grateful for you. Alright I knew that was gonna be
Shannon M. 49:23
I ran out of space on my notebook.
Christine Gautreaux 49:27
Right? Right good stuff. What was your thing that stuck out the most?
Shannon M. 49:35
Oh, let’s see. Oh, when you think about something you want, what does your brain say about it? Because this business shallow glow? Would somebody say you should just leave them and start your own company. I said no faster than you can say no in Spanish and this the same word I said why did I say no so fast? And so I think looking at that would be Help, like she said, be a speed bump to start looking at stuff before we miss opportunities for ourselves before we get into situations that aren’t aligned with our values and our purpose, our wellness, that for me has changed my life.
Christine Gautreaux 50:17
Yeah, good stuff. Good stuff. I’m loving that bounce method and the creating community around moving forward. I think that is fabulous.
Shannon M. 50:28
So yes, especially around difficult situations, you know, especially after quarantine and everything that’s been going on, like we said, the collective trauma that everybody is working through, knowing that you can bounce back being given action steps and connected to resources. I mean, of course, we know Shannon is our people, but we love stuff like that. So absolutely.
Christine Gautreaux 50:51
It checks all the boxes. So I was trying to come up with a funny point. I mean, a funny pun about bouncing, but it didn’t, it didn’t come together in my brain quick enough. At night, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and I’ll have it I’ll be like, oh, there it is. This one I should have said. Anything else we need to say about our sponsor? Before we go?
Shannon M. 51:24
Um, yes. So ladies, if you are listening to this show, if you are part of women connected in wisdom, one thank you so much, too, I have a gift for you as well. Okay, 5% off to all of our listeners, use the code wise five at shallow glow calm, and you’ll be able to enjoy that on your next order. In addition to that, if you know you use lotion every day, or you’re using something that’s not working for you and you have severely dry skin, shallow glow now has a subscription. So that is leak information you are hearing it here first and
Christine Gautreaux 52:01
again and say what that means.
Shannon M. 52:05
Yes, Sheila Lowe has a subscription. So that means you need not worry about running out of the product that you love your skin from head to toe will be taken care of. And you’ll lock in those savings that we love to do. So demo.com is where you can find it. And I look forward to being part of your self care regimen.
Christine Gautreaux 52:26
So fun. So good. Y’all go check out our website. A nominal is always the part that’s hard. We come to the end, but we know we got things to do. Right. Yo, thank you for listening. If you’ve made it this far. We will be back next week. We have an a phenomenal guests coming on next week talking about environmental wellness. And that’s our last full show of season three and then we’ll do the wrap. So as we scooch on over into July. Yeah. Good stuff.
Shannon M. 53:01
Yes. I’m so looking forward to it. And ladies, we will see you here next Wednesday at five. And don’t forget, be well be wise. Have a great week. See you soon.
Unknown Speaker 53:20
Thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on-air live on Wednesdays at 5 pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
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