Show notes –
Join Shannon & Christine as they wrap up Season 5 and chat about wellness tips for the holiday season.
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https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en
https://www.awarepreneurs.com/podcast
https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/
https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/holiday-overload/
https://www.traveltowellness.com/holiday-wellness-tips-maintain-health-new-year/
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/day-without-art-day/
https://wisetransformation.com/sovereign-women-2022-christine/
Show Transcript –
NOTE: While it’s not perfect, we offer this transcription by Otter.ai for those who are hearing impaired or who don’t find listening to a podcast enjoyable or possible.
Shannon M. 0:08
Let’s do this. Okay, ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female, millennial entrepreneur, the founder of shallow glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine G. she/hers 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show.
Christine G. she/hers 0:43
We love to get together every week and have intentional conversations around how do we do this in life in business in relationship? How do we do it and stay well at the same time? Yeah, that’s the thing, right?
Shannon M. 0:56
Yeah, that’s the whole thing.
Christine G. she/hers 0:58
Today, I this TEDx talk came across my LinkedIn. Yeah. And I’m gonna put the link in the show notes for our listeners, but it was talking about how we think about stress affects whether stress affects our bodies or not. So this was interesting, because it was saying, if you think that stress is harmful for your body, you have a chance of dying younger. But if you see signs of stress, like if you see your heartbeat speeding up as yay, my hearts working, and it’s getting blood to all places of my body, or set your breathing speeds up. Oh, I’m getting more oxygenated right now. So like, even our mindset around stress affects our bodies, which I thought was fascinating. And I thought it was fascinating this time of year.
Shannon M. 1:53
Yeah, absolutely. I love that. Yeah. And, and things like that is what made me interested in getting a degree in psychology. You know, I was listening to Paul’s podcast, because you told me about it. And they were talking about PTSD and stress, and how you can see different situations and how a lot of times, individuals who go through a lot in their childhood, because we want to understand what happened to us. That’s what inspires us to get degrees in psychology, right? I personally can, you know, I can see how that would happen. I would see how my story people would definitely put in that category too. But really, I was motivated to get a degree in psychology because of things like what you said, how well you’re telling me how I see the world can change how the world affects me. And if I do it this way I can be in a better likelihood to be healthier, longer. Let me choose this door, you know, and how do I make sure I choose that door consistently and in a healthy way is been? What I’ve been focused on this year, and especially for the last month of the year as we go into 2022. What else do I need to fasten down on the foundation of everything? What’s my next step for my next big goal?
Christine G. she/hers 3:08
Oh, I love that. Yeah, that TEDx talks was called How to Make stress your friend. And I’m gonna link to it in our show notes so folks can read it. And you were referencing the AWARE printers podcast, so I’ll put a link in there too. Yes, I know. We’re here today to wrap up season five. And talk about holiday wellness, right? What Episode Are we on today? My friend?
Shannon M. 3:33
Oh, 47. Yes.
Christine G. she/hers 3:39
We’re gonna hit 50 episodes this year.
Shannon M. 3:41
Oh, those 32 weeks in a year. Christy, let me write a pretty good,
Christine G. she/hers 3:45
pretty good, we had this season had our biggest tech challenges. That’s true, you know, something to note, but we made over here, still going? And I think that’s a good thing. To look at it sometimes, like, think is gonna happen, life’s gonna happen, things aren’t gonna go according to plan. And how do we keep going in the midst of it? Or do we take a day off and rest? You know, what’s the moment
Shannon M. 4:13
and it changes the situation and situation, you know, that’s why I love the fact that we talk about all eight dimensions. Because sometimes what happens in finances might affect social, you know, or maybe it’s the social that affects the finances, and it’s having the the Foundation have the information in our identity and being confident in where we come from. And then the different parts of the situations that help us pivot and shift depending on what we need to do. But it’s when those things aren’t aligned or we don’t know about them or things aren’t taken care of in one category, one dimension of wellness. That’s when we start being unbalanced and things can become chaotic.
Christine G. she/hers 4:57
Right? Yeah. I always find this time of year a good time to recheck in on a couple of things. Will you remind our listeners what the eight dimensions of wellness are?
Shannon M. 5:10
Yes. So we have environmental that is both within environment outside and also your physical environment, whether it’s your workplace or where you live, right? Social we just talked about, for me, especially, I mean, it’s a thing all the time, but boundaries, what are your boundaries? Like? What are your standards for friends? Or relationships? How do you communicate even if we’re talking about how it intersects analyzes with occupational wellness? How do you compete you? How do you communicate upwards? And across or down in a team? We’ve mentioned occupational wellness, what are the needs that you that you need, as far as the compensation you’re going to get? Maybe 725, an hour isn’t going to work for all of your expenses, and that’s okay, but you need to know that or your occupational wellness is going to affect your financial wellness. And that’s another category right? Are we budgeting? Are we saving? What does our relationship with money look like? Is it healthy? Or does it actually block the abundance that we’re saying you want? What else spiritual, right? Are you connected? Are you grounded? For me, that’s where my identity comes from. Right? Me being connected, and remembering that lesson that everything is in my control? What else?
Christine G. she/hers 6:19
physical, physical Well, right now,
Shannon M. 6:23
about COVID. And healthy eating happens in a healthy lifestyle. And just instead of a flash diet, where we’re constantly focused on what not to do with the wrong things, we can be focused on the vitamins that we’re adding, and everything we’re doing to take care of our bones and our metabolism and our immune system. And think about it that way. So all eight flowed together. And we mentioned
Christine G. she/hers 6:45
intellectual. Yeah, because we had the blue last season from performing arts on talking to us about intellectual wellness. Yeah.
Shannon M. 6:55
And that’s perfect to me remembering you know, I think about Alzheimer’s, and even remembering the lessons throughout life that’s part of intellectual wellness, are you open to new ideas? Or do you block certain things off? That might be because of PTSD from social wellness, so
Christine G. she/hers 7:12
well, and then emotional mental wellness, which is huge right now for the holiday season? You know, I don’t know if it is seasonal affective disorder, which affects a lot of people when there’s less light. I don’t know if it’s the holidays, could be the pandemic in two years of things, not quote unquote, being normal. But a lot of people are struggling right now, with wellness. And I think that sometimes when we have the expectations of the holidays placed on us, it just makes it worse. Yeah. Especially if our wellness is in imbalance. Right? Absolutely. So I thought we could talk a little bit about that. today. I thought we could give a shout out to our folks from last season, because we had some incredible guests. And if you haven’t had a chance to listen to the individual episodes, we encourage you to because you know at the start of this last season, we had knotty from Interplay that talked about physical wellness and clowning around and having fun. That was a that was a fun episode. We had Shamika Wallace, we had a really good conversation with her. We had Dr. Witchita. We had Bootsy Peters, who was talking about her healing project. We had windy blue at reforming arts and Melody last week’s episode. Oh, yeah. I know, both you and I were like, What are we doing doing a podcast the day before a national holiday? But it was a good one. So great. It was really good. Yeah, our wellness next year, just so our listeners know, we may be taking that day off.
Shannon M. 8:58
And we might still have a show. Right? And that’s part of our occupational wellness having it recorded out. Right.
Christine G. she/hers 9:04
Yeah. And talking about like, what are you know, that balance and I think that’s what you just said Shannon is a good thing is, is it can change, we don’t have to be rigid with it, right? We need to check in and have intentionality around it, but not not be rigid. I was reading an article, I’m going to pull it up so I can share it with you. Let me see if I can find it here. I was reading an article about holiday overload and holiday wellness tips to maintain good health and start the new year off right. And, you know, so many things are repetition out there. And you’ll hear us say it on the show more than once but I think it bears repeating because if we were all getting it we were all doing it it wouldn’t we wouldn’t keep repeating it and I know for me sometimes I need to hear things several times in this This article that came from the travel to wellness site who knew that was the thing? I love it right? They say prioritize me time. And we talk about this all the time we talk about this and Stillpoint Sheila nice book that taking some much needed me time isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity it’s a necessary component to leading a healthy and active lifestyle especially in the midst of everything going on holidays hullabaloo a lot of people are, you know, going to be tagging in our time. It’s okay to schedule some me time to help you cope with the chaos. And it can be whatever you want or need in the moment. Yeah, it can be yoga, taking a walk, I mean, that, that, you know, me, I like to stack things. So that segues nicely with physical wellness, right? It can be simply taking some time to catch up on reading. But the main thing is what identifying for yourself. What helps you to de stress, detoxify, reset, and that supports your emotional and mental wellness. Yeah. All right. The other one, they say this, this one’s a hard one to talk about listeners right after Thanksgiving in the United States, but practicing self control when it comes to food.
Shannon M. 11:29
We could talk about that too, with emotional and mental wellness because I was detox I said it’s the first I’m not going to do this this so you know what? Maybe that doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m not setting myself up for success. And I’m instead worried that I’ll go too far instead of just being mindful throughout the rest of the month and still enjoying the holidays. So sometimes it can be on both sides. You know,
Christine G. she/hers 11:54
right going to extremes you don’t want to go to extremes either side. Yeah, you know, we in my family what we did is we figured out what we were cooking and then we consciously didn’t cook extra or double like we had enough that there were a little bit of leftovers because we love leftovers especially when it’s some some things that we only cook one time a year right? But we didn’t have so much that it was we were intentional around it. Now that is not I mean in all transparency that does not mean I did not eat too much of that Cajun dressing like a child down but so did three other people and it was gone into what was your favorite thing you cooked last week?
Shannon M. 12:42
Oh, was my favorite? That’s a great question. Probably the turkey wings that we made, because we had cut all this stuff up put it on top, I would I don’t think I would have ever thought to put cut up by Nan’s and stuff on top of turkey wings before you bake them. You know, it was amazing. The herbs and everything. Again, we ate a great duck with marmalade and all different types of stuff. But yeah, yeah.
Christine G. she/hers 13:15
Nice. Yeah. So the next one is sorry, recommends is to be mindful of your alcohol consumption. It just says you know, without there’s work related personal holiday parties, you might be attending things and you could just lose track of it. So just pay attention, because that affects our physical wellness. And it can also affect our mental and emotional wellness. So it also
Shannon M. 13:38
affects your social wellness, you get in a certain type of way, after a few drinks and you don’t remember it could go left really quick, you know,
Christine G. she/hers 13:45
you know, I always had the rule, whether it’s right or wrong, but I always had the rule I did not drink at work functions.
Shannon M. 13:54
It’s a good rule on it.
Christine G. she/hers 13:55
I just, you know, Alcohol is a depressant, and I’m a sensitive human being. So it is easy to get me even more sensitive. Like, I don’t need that. No one’s got time for that.
Shannon M. 14:12
Not at all.
Christine G. she/hers 14:15
This one you’re gonna love because we say this often on the show, but get plenty of sleep. Yes. You know, this was interesting. It says like final exam anxiety. Holiday anxiety is a real thing and can be worsened by lack of proper sleep. So it talks about most adults need an average of seven to nine hours of sleep for their brains to function normally. So that varies from person to person, of course, but really, you don’t want holiday burnout to hit. So you want to you want to take care of yourself your basic needs. Yeah. I love this one.
Shannon M. 14:53
Oh god. It’s so interesting how we can get in this cycle of doing too much and over Sitting ourself and now we want to get better because we start seeing the side effects of what that looks like. And then we kind of slow down, and then we get back into the habit of overextending ourselves. And it’s this, I know, I should be taking care of myself, but instead of being proactive and reactive to the side effects, you. So that’s why I’ve changed it to make it intentional. And let’s do it every day to be preventative, but even getting there?
Christine G. she/hers 15:27
Well, I have to say, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but I think one of the gifts of the pandemic has been, the number of things cut down around, you seems like, you know, and I always liked going to holiday parties, because I like seeing people and I like people, but you know, I would do too much because I wouldn’t want to hurt this person’s feelings, like, you know, and so I’m kind of kind of been grateful the last two years ago, it’s not a thing. I’m not missing out. And I’m not hurt anybody’s feelings. It’s just like, not a thing. So, and people totally get it when you say no, I don’t want to come to a zoom holiday. What? Yeah, but he does say in this article, and I do agree with this, enjoying quality time with loved ones, making time to visit old friends and relatives is exactly what the holiday season is all about. So it can be exhausting trying to make time for every single person in your life. So don’t go for that. Right. But like a phone call, or a Christmas greeting, or it’s a Hanukkah right now, like whatever you celebrate, might brighten up a person’s mood and brighten your own. Right. Yeah. So taking a moment to give gratitude.
Shannon M. 16:48
Absolutely. And I think that’s why, when I think about the holidays, and mental and emotional wellness, I know, for some, it creates joy and selja or even joy for for future things, right. But on the same side of that, or another side of that coin, because of that, if other people are focused on their loss and the things that they don’t have, that’s where the extremes come from, you know, so for me, gratitude is huge in helping me keep just a balanced perspective. Again, that’s why volunteering helps me so much we talk about how giving to other people gives to you. It’s the same type of reaction, you know, call and response for me personally in my life. So it grounds me.
Christine G. she/hers 17:34
Yeah, I were calling for volunteers this last week when it was starting to get cold. You know, a lot of times our community warming centers or homeless shelters, need folks to volunteer this time of the year. Because if it’s cold outside, people need a place to stay. So yeah, or coat drives or food drives. Like there’s so many ways to give back. And I’m with you, Shannon, like, it’s for me taking action is one of the ways that I just deal with stress, or I deal with feeling helpless about situations. You know.
Shannon M. 18:17
And it’s always interesting when you say the things that help you because I’m like, You know what, that helps me too. And that’s been a thing since my mom passed away. Everybody’s like, well, you just kept going, and I’m doing all this stuff. And maybe that’s why. Right? But you know what, right? I don’t like women passing away from chronic ailments. Let’s talk about women intentionally taking care of themselves on a weekly basis, and really are episode 47. It’s
Christine G. she/hers 18:43
your wife. Right? And I know for me, it’s a big part of my way when I wrote the book. So point about caregivers and self care is, you know, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this story. But my grandmother, well, my grandfather, when I was 14 passed away from Alzheimer’s, back before it was called Alzheimer’s, like they actually say died of a heart. But it was it was just when the term was even coming out. I remember like it was, it was a word that didn’t even come out of your mouth, right? Because it was so new. And it was a long illness. It was about two years of a long illness and my grandmother Mahoney. She didn’t accept a lot of help. Like she was very independent, strong woman. I mean, she was, I wanna act. I’m going to show you a picture and see it, see if you can see it. Our listeners, I’m just showing a picture. This is me, and my eighth birthday and My grandmama honies table, and she always had her hair done. She had that I don’t even know what that’s called. Is it a blue font where you know, they would put the hairspray on it and spike it up. I don’t know. She’s i She was one of the first women to graduate from university. She was a part I can’t even remember her title in World War Two what she did, but she was part of a great brigade. And then she was a working woman. She was an accountant. Back when you know, women, it was pretty radical to work outside of the home, you know, especially for white women at that time, it was like actually in
Shannon M. 20:26
money. Okay, right. People were like,
Christine G. she/hers 20:29
right, so she was an accountant for a doctor’s office. And it always, she was amazing, but she was really independent. And so when my grandfather got ill, she didn’t accept a lot of help, even though the family was trying to help and, and she didn’t want to put him in a subpar nursing home. And so she took care of him. And what that meant is like, she would work all day and he’d be sleeping, because he had his days and nights mixed up. And then she’d be up most of the night with him, because he didn’t understand why she was sleeping. And so it really took a toll on her wellness. And so he had passed away. And I will never forget this because she was It was when computers were reverse coming out, I’m totally dating myself hearing that computers are first coming out for the average person. And she had signed up, she was in her 70s and had signed up to go take a computer class, this is how I mean, she was just a badass, this woman was incredible. So she’s taken a computer class, so she can take her office accounting, and compute completely computerized, she was a trailblazer. And she was redoing the house, she was doing all these things. And she dropped dead from an aneurysm. And the doctor said that it was stress that it was the effects of caregiving, and not taking care of herself for the last two years because she had not prioritized sleep, or, you know, probably eating as healthy as she you know, I’m not sure on that part. I was still a kid. I mean, I was 14. But that’s one of my why’s when we talk about this work, and we talk about prioritizing wellness. Because y’all especially for ladies and caregivers, and activist, and it is dangerous to not prioritize your wellness women die younger than they should because of it. So it’s I know we sometimes people are like, oh, yeah, I don’t know. Well, we got we got a quick
Shannon M. 22:36
No, no, it is dangerous to not prioritize. I think it’s worth saying again, you know, because we’re so used to it a dangerous and that prioritize your wellness. Because with the, the social culture, right, it has been as to overextend yourself to be nice to people, because everybody should like you. When best never like, it’s never going to happen. You know, if you go left, somebody’s gonna be mad, you didn’t go right, you go right to peaceful people and the left people are upset. And so what should you do for your purpose? And that’s every day, you know. And I think when we talk about racism, we talk about sexism. It’s like a new paradigm shift to understand that, even though it’s the holidays, I still have to work X amount of hours, there’s still only 24 hours in a day, I need somebody else to help me with these added tasks on this to do list because it’s added five hours that I don’t have, you know, and not doing that over time, of course, you know, so communicating what we need, and knowing what we need first. That’s what I had to work on. When COVID started, it’s like, okay, well, let me see where I am in these situations. Let me see where my money is right? And I can figure out what I need. And then I can sort what’s my responsibility? Who can help me with this part? And that I had to figure out how to ask for help from there, you know, but it’s definitely a process.
Christine G. she/hers 24:04
Right? We talked this week in our radical self and community care class we were talking about partnership power, right? Then one of my favorite skills of self care is just what you said Who can help me with this who can be a partner with me in this it is you know, there’s a lot of people that need other people to help them boy I just looked outside Shannon sorry, total squirrel moment. The sunset is gorgeous tonight. So it is I’m only seeing a reflection of it because I actually my Windows go to where the sun rises but I can tell the way the light is reflecting in the clouds. I’m seeing like pink and blue and purple. So the sunset is got to be gorgeous tonight.
Shannon M. 24:44
And it was the Sun was red. And it was like a light blue. It was like orange and it was magnificent. I was trying to take a picture but you know, cameras don’t even serve you
Christine G. she/hers 24:55
know. I’m sure the glory right
Shannon M. 24:57
should be there.
Christine G. she/hers 25:00
I always that’s one of the things we talked about, like about getting out in nature. And part of that is because you like it, you just feel it in your whole body. When you see something like that you’re like, Whoa, yeah. I love that. Yeah. Alright, so talking about holiday wellness, what are you doing for wellness? What practices are you working on right now?
Shannon M. 25:23
So I am doing a couple of different things preparing for next year. Right? And doing that first by reprioritizing the things that I thought I would get done at a certain amount of time for the last quarter. Right, so we were organizing those things. What can I realistically do in December? And what does 2022 look like? And not being over analytical or just trying to over plan stuff, but I know, as a business owner, I’m going to have a Mother’s Day Sale. You know, we know that we’re going to have a Father’s Day soon. So getting those dates set up. And already on the calendar helps me keep my time boundaries. So doing that. What else making sure I do my hair more often? You know, I died. I thought about locks. So this is another thing I don’t think we’ve talked about as far as physical wellness. I talked to my locs like is a plant. Right? And thank you, I told her, I said I’m gonna die you but I’m not gonna kill you. Okay, I’m going to take care of you. So I’ve been doing my hair and doing my facials. And even just like a meeting as a business owner,
Christine G. she/hers 26:31
hang on. So just a little plug. There you are glowing from head to toe.
Shannon M. 26:36
Thank you. I’ll talk about next year how we take care of ourselves. Right? Yes. But yes, and keep in. So just like a business owner or somebody that’s networking, right, I want to set the meeting for I want to set the date for the next meeting before this meeting ends. I try to do the same thing with my nail and my hair appointments now. So I know that in six weeks out or in a week, two weeks, four weeks, whatever the increment is, I need to go ahead and look on my calendar to find time, because it’ll be here and I’ll be missing it before I know it. So working on that. It’s doing, thank you.
Christine G. she/hers 27:16
I like the way I do it. Whereas when you say hey, we need new headshots, and I say okay, let me schedule your appointment.
Shannon M. 27:25
Though, right rain forest, okay, you definitely see a difference. Gotta be maintained.
Christine G. she/hers 27:31
I have to tell you, my hairdresser is very grateful for you. She’s like, What I’m seeing you more than like, I don’t think I’ve seen because my co host is much younger than I am she likes.
Shannon M. 27:44
I said, Hey,
Christine G. she/hers 27:46
I love it. I love it. We know we were talking earlier, would it be in December 1 I was looking up, like, what is December 1 stand for? And what is the month of December? And you talking about what you’re up to with your business? Did you know that December? Is national write a business plan month?
Shannon M. 28:05
I did. And I need to update mine. So I’m going to do that this month.
Christine G. she/hers 28:11
I don’t want to put anything else on it is also national parallel, which I find interesting. But in Operation Santa Paws, I’m gonna put a link to this. So people, I always find stuff like that interesting. Like, sits around and thinks about this stuff.
Shannon M. 28:27
Right? And how many different ways are we going to name the same month or the same day? But
Christine G. she/hers 28:31
right, I think well, one important thing that I do want to give a shout out is December 1 is World AIDS Day. And it is also day without art day, which is about bringing awareness to the AIDS epidemic. And yes, it’s still a thing y’all. Like we need to be paying attention to it and having discussions because it impacts especially communities of color and black gay men the hardest. And so we need to be paying attention. And just you know, I think knowing is sometimes half the battle, like, Okay, this is important, because we’ve all been affected like when people what people don’t realize is when you start talking about it, you know, somebody or or know somebody who knows somebody who’s died of AIDS, like my co author, son can database and it impacts so many people in this world. And there’s so much shame and stigma attached to it that people don’t want to talk about it. And it’s like, yeah, we got to talk about this. It’s a health issue. So
Shannon M. 29:38
that’s exactly what I think about with emotional and mental wellness in general. We have to talk about things that happened, you know, like, but again with it and that’s why when I read this book, and I realized the culture of silence, I realized how relevant that is, you know, people silent about a lot of things and we we don’t talk about them, we don’t process the the holidays when people are talking about the things, they’re grateful for thinking about the things that they could have done better throughout the year. That brings up a lot of stuff that hasn’t been processed. You know. So I think that plays a big part of it too.
Christine G. she/hers 30:17
Well, and to remind you to be gentle with ourselves when we’re looking. One of Well, one of our guests, I think it was season one, Dr. Cynthia Phelps, who does the inner ally, she and I have been mastermind partners for years. And one of our practices that we do this time of year is we look at our wins, we literally sit and we write down what work this year. And now I will tell you, because I don’t have a great memory I haven’t it’s not a it’s just I haven’t seen. So it’s just not part, it’s not the way my brain works. So what I do, as I look at my calendar, and I look at the pictures in my phone, and I write down all the wins for this year, what worked. And if things pop up, that didn’t work well, or I didn’t get finished, or Yeah, it didn’t quite go the way I wanted it to go, you know, be gentle with yourself, like have no good self talk, when you talk to yourself about that. Because you’re doing the best you can. Absolutely. And I could do better you would.
Shannon M. 31:24
And I think that’s a boundary and a standard that I set for myself, right. And that helps with my emotional and mental wellness to that, I know that if I set this boundary for myself, I’m going to challenge myself to reach it. Of course not being perfect. Not always being the drill sergeant coach that has to talk to you a certain way again, because you have to talk to yourself a certain way. But I know that that’s one of the four agreements do your best. So if I’m making realistic goals, I know what the big picture is, I know what the final goal is, and I broken it down into specific, measurable, attainable, relative and time bound goals, then I can move certain pieces if I need to, if something comes up, and again still have great because I know it’s not my fault that my nail had my tire had a nail in it. And I had to use that time instead of on my business to get something fixed for my time, I can look at that on my planner and see you know what this was outside of my control, let’s move into next week, and it’s still within the same month. And I think that’s something else at the end of the year, people feeling like they may or may not be on time with a timeline.
Christine G. she/hers 32:32
Right. And and here’s the thing we know, as business owners, right, everything takes three times longer than you think it’s going to take. I mean, really, and truly, it’s just it’s just a fact, like these people that are overnight successes, they’ve been working at it for 10 to 20 years, most of them. So like it, just keep going like put take this step, put the intention out there and keep going. And and I like what you were saying about, you know, reviewing the year, but also looking for the good. And you said something else about goals that I really want to highlight chain and talking about breaking it down, you know, an interplay, we often talk about incremental steps, that we get into trouble in little steps, and we can get out of trouble in little steps. And I think about that that’s true with all our wellness, right? That’s all if we’re in not to say trouble not to put judgment on it. But if we’re out of balance, if we’re not quite where we want to be, if we’re you know, not quite reaching the goals that we set for ourselves last year, that to be gentle with ourselves and just what’s the next step?
Shannon M. 33:48
Absolutely. And sometimes I think that people take being honest with being harsh, you know, I’m also on this with other people so I’m honest with myself, and sometimes there may be somebody who’s like hey, it took me 15 years to start working on what I said you can be honest and still give yourself grace and sit with the details of everything that happened so that you can really come through it but then yeah, let’s let’s start it now. You know because a year from now you wish you would have started today. And I’ve thought about Oh, we
Christine G. she/hers 34:24
lost her. You know we’ve been having this thing with tech recently where a about 40 minutes and we lose Shannon so hopefully she’s going to come back because we don’t have a guest today. It’s me and her but for those of y’all that are listening, we are just talking about holiday wellness. We are talking about how to be well and wise during the holiday season. We just like clockwork my friend great. So Oh, wild. So,
Shannon M. 35:02
research study, we spent season five and the research study of technology.
Christine G. she/hers 35:06
Right? We’re fixing it for season six. We’re gonna figure that out. We’ll talk about tools and techniques we’re using. I have been I think I’ve mentioned it on the show before, but I’m getting back to my morning pages. The artist way. Julia Cameron, have we ever talked about that before?
Shannon M. 35:23
We we have and you said that she recommended that to three pages. And yeah, that’s
Christine G. she/hers 35:28
long handwritten, you know, longhand, I know you’re in the and now you’re really good at it doing your journal writing. And I just find it so effective, like to clear the color clutter out of the brain, and to have that spark of creativity and aliveness. And I’ve just been grateful for that.
Shannon M. 35:52
Yeah, yeah. And I know, for different people with different things help, you know, I was talking to one of my co workers this week about journaling. And she said that it didn’t really help her outside of just writing stuff down. And I get that, you know, for me, it helps me go through the very details, the very detail details of the stories, right, that I would want to repeat over and over again, so that my best friend or my partner, or this person, or that person that I might be close to. And instead of having these people use this space to hold for me, because I feel a certain type of way about all these details. I can just write it down. Like, I can’t believe she said that XYZ and just let it go. Because clearly, I’m taking it personal, even though I shouldn’t. And this is why and then I can be done with it. And I can move on. Whoa, that’s
Christine G. she/hers 36:44
so hard, though sometimes. And that had some like that happened this week, or somebody told me a story they have about me in their head. And I was just like, that is just not like, it’s so opposite of, you know, the facts that back it up. But we can’t control what other people think about us, right? Yeah, we can’t. And everybody comes with their own filters and their own their own wounding and how we meet each other. And I said to somebody this week, I’m like, being messy. Being human is messy. Messy, I mean, part of it is the joy of it. And part of it’s like the right yeah, it’s
Shannon M. 37:26
yeah, that’s such a good point. And I felt that way about bruises and stuff growing up, you know, they told us as a little girl, you shouldn’t get can’t get cut up. You don’t need to have bruises. Your leg should be nice. And how do you expect me to go through our many decades of life and not have a bruise or a scratch or a cut or something like it’s not realistic, you have to have realistic expectations.
Christine G. she/hers 37:53
Okay, so a complete left turn, but I was I was laughing at myself this week, because I was scrolling through some kind of social media, probably Instagram or something. And it was one of those funny ads about your soulmates initials are on your thumb, like on your on your left thumb, will I look down and there’s a scar there? What does that mean? It’s when we think about it with when you said that about bruises because been rough and tumble, like I grew up on a small farm. And we just like, I can’t tell you like how many scars I have from who knows what I was doing or right. Probably something I wasn’t supposed to be but yeah. And then, you know, growing up in athletics and sports like yeah, I grew up at a time where, you know, we didn’t really have physical therapists and if you weren’t bleeding, then you kept going. And sometimes if you were bleeding, you kept going if you weren’t bleeding that bad. So Right. Yeah, it’s interesting, this culture that we live in, right, I was looking there was another thing I was reading on LinkedIn this week, it was about to stop glorifying the overproduction and the overdoing and the over the not sleeping the burnout that this and that and, yeah, it’s and, and I am completely in agreement with that. And I think also as women sometimes it’s hard, because Okay, yeah, it’s not that I want to do all these things. But there’s a lot of things to get done. Right. So how to balance it and I think that’s where the partnership power comes in. Like asking for help or support or, you know, if you have the privilege of being able to hire it like if it’s something that you can trade with somebody or hire like giving yourself support, especially during this time of year when things are so busy. You know, or just giving yourself the grace that it doesn’t need to get done? You know, we’re gonna let that out.
Shannon M. 40:05
So yeah, yeah. And also having the confidence to have those conversations, right. And one thing I love that I learned as a manager is trust, but verify. So we had the conversation, I trust that it’s going to get done, right. That’s if we’re going to have a win win, situation and a win win type of relationship as we continue moving forward, collaborating, again, whether it’s us whether it’s business partners, whether it’s friendships or co workers, then first I have to tell you, how I how I need your support, right? This is what you’re doing this shift, this is what I’m doing. But then if it doesn’t happen, either A, I have the or maybe there’s not a but one option is if it if you don’t do it, but it still has to get done. Now I have to do it. Or Now what does that conversation look like? Hey, you said you would do this? Where are we with that? Or why didn’t it happen? Is there something I love your question? Is there some way I could support you in doing that? You know, and being able to have those uncomfortable conversations, I think is something that we as ladies could do better and still hold that boundary, as I said, I needed your help, because I need your help. So you can do it. I need you to handle it. Because yeah, I already told you I don’t have the time. Yeah. And that’s, that’s fair. And that’s
Christine G. she/hers 41:22
Yeah, absolutely. And and I think that goes back to knowing ourselves to Shannon, like knowing ourselves of what is supportive, like what do we need? Because I think sometimes as women, we’re so busy doing that we don’t even stop to check in with ourselves to know what do I need? You know, that old adage of oh, it’s easier to do it myself? Well, the reason it’s easier to do it yourself, because we haven’t stopped to say how could somebody support me? Like, what would that look like? What to take something off my plate? So I’m thinking, I’m in action this week is taking one thing off my plate. For holiday? Well, I like it. Okay,
Shannon M. 42:05
I like that. And I will say it because I did get this workbook I’m really excited about it for once you get business, and I actually got like a bundle. You know, I used the Black Friday to my advantage and got some different things to help set up. Again, like I said, the rest of the foundation of the system, what do I need to delegate? What do I need to optimize? or automate excuse me, right. And we use systems. Clearly, we’re using one right now to stream live Live at Five every week. So what do I have somebody else do? What can I do? And then what can I automate? And hopefully that’ll take at least one thing off my list. Oh, I
Christine G. she/hers 42:42
like it. I like it a lot. Well, talking about that business of yours as I’m sitting here rubbing on some amazing Shayla glow oil. What do you have going on over there for the holidays?
Shannon M. 42:55
Yes, yes. So for Akshay lo globey did have an amazing Black Friday. So shout out to everybody that I met on Auburn Avenue. It was cold, but I had such a great time reminded me of when I was out there for those Christmas parade as a band nerd. And now it’s out there for my business. But we’ve been having a great time explaining the different kits that we have. Again, the Glow Kit is going to come with the sugar scrub oil and the shea butter. Depending on what you need is with dictate which size you get. We have the travel and Glow Kit, that’s when you need to go through TSA, you don’t want to get the product when you get to your destination or worry about throwing it away. We’ve made sure that each of the products that gives you the most product and is under that 3.4 tsa requirement. And then we have the home Glow Kit for when you’re using it at home or for your home bodies for your family. After the shower before you go to work before you go to bed. You’re rubbing it on your joints because it helps with circulation, you’re going to need a little bit more. And we have the suit kits available for you on the site. And the products were individual perfect purchase. If you prefer in for all of our women connected and wisdom listeners, we have our wise five discount code that you can always apply on there to make sure that you always get the best price for your products.
Christine G. she/hers 44:13
I love it. Thank you for doing that for our listeners. I think that is fantastic. It’s such a gift. Yeah, and if anybody needs extra support this time of the year, you are more than welcome to reach out to me. I offer our listeners and free inquiry consults and you can find that info in our show notes and happy to be of support if we can. And just grateful you know my friend I think I said it last week but I want to say it again. I am so grateful for you and our conversations and for 46 episodes.
Shannon M. 44:52
I think we’re 47 I think 47 And I definitely you know I’m grateful for you are I did Our relationship by itself is super cool. So all the women that we’re going to connect and the lives that we get to improve, you know, it makes me feel like I’m in my purpose. And I’m happy and glad to be here with you. So thank you for everything you do.
Christine G. she/hers 45:14
You too, right back. Gotcha. Well, all right, y’all another week down. And so let’s get out there and have some take care of ourselves. Right while we’re taking care of brothers.
Shannon M. 45:26
Absolutely, absolutely required. And we will be back next week Live at Five for season six. And don’t forget, be well be wise. We’ll see you next week.
Unknown Speaker 45:46
Thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on air live on Wednesdays at 5pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like, share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
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