Transforming Space, Self & Loss- With Melody LeBaron ⋆ Christine Gautreaux MSW

NOTE: While it’s not perfect, we offer this transcription by Otter.ai for those who are hearing impaired or who don’t find listening to a podcast enjoyable or possible.

Shannon M. 0:08
Let’s do this. Okay, ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female, millennial entrepreneur, the founder of shallow glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.

Unknown Speaker 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care.

Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show.

Unknown Speaker 0:43
And we like to get together every week and have intentional conversations about how do we do this? How do we do this thing called life and be well and be balanced? And or at least strive for balance? I don’t think being balanced is actually thing. And how do we do it in relationship with ourselves and each other. And we have a phenomenal guest for y’all today that we will be introducing LTU in just a few moments. But before we do that, there were a couple other things you and I wanted to chat about. Yeah.

Shannon M. 1:15
And let’s give the definition too. Since I already told our listeners what we’re talking about, specifically for environmental wellness, we’re talking about having a good health by occupying pleasant stimulating environments that support well being. It also promotes interaction with nature, and creating an enjoyable personal environment both in and out of your workplace.

Unknown Speaker 1:39
Right. Well, in this week here in the United States, a lot of people are celebrating Thanksgiving. And so there’s a lot that goes in and around that, right. I’ve been taking a class recently with a southern movement assembly, one of my activism groups, and we have been talking about decolonizing Thanksgiving, which, you know, if you’re on social media, you a lot of people will say that and then people like how do we do this? Right? How do we? So I’m going to put up an article. And why do we do it? Right. I’m going to put up an article in our show notes today called Nine Ways to decolonize and honored native people on Thanksgiving. Did you want to chat about that for just a second horse? Yeah,

Shannon M. 2:23
let’s go into it. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 2:26
Well, you know, the first one you and I’ve talked about before on the show is learning whose lands were on and acknowledging that we come to y’all we broadcast from the lands in the Muskogee Creek. And we are I know, I broadcast for about a mile east of the Chattahoochee River. So this land this are the original stewards of this land, were originally Muskogee and Creek and then the Cherokee did come down into this, this part of the world also. So that’s the number one thing it’s just learned. Because what so many people don’t realize is, you know, indigenous folks are still here, they are still with us. They may have been moved, they may have been, but they are not gone. Like there’s so many myths about like so many people, because if they just learn what our schools teach in the textbooks, there’s a lot of myths and a lot of truths. And so we want to learn the real history, like what really happened, what happened to the people that were stewarding your lands, were they forced to give it up? Did they sign a treaty did that you know what, what happened? What was the truth? So we’re gonna put a link to that in our show notes. So you can check it out? Because yeah, there’s there’s a lot that the US government did not do well, with the indigenous people of this land. And now, number three in this article is always when I read this, don’t get startled listeners, because I know coming from a family of people who love food, this was this word. When I first read it was like, Oh, what are they asking me to do? It was decolonize your dinner? So, you know, basically what they’re asking me this. What they say in this article is that native chefs have created a culinary movement with the goal of getting indigenous people to honor their ancestors through their dietary choices. So you can bring some Native American dishes to your dinner table, you can honor it. It’s like any other culture or when you’re learning about something. And there’s links in there about how do you do that? Like what is true indigenous food? Like when I was growing up in East Texas, and I don’t want to forget the name of this. Okay. Well, I just remember we used to go and we would do field trips, and we would learn and we would learn about food, and the name of the people are going to come to me in just a second. But we’d learned how to make flatbread. We learned how like what traditions were, and and I’ve been living in Georgia so long I lost their name, but never For this article is listened to indigenous voices. So they’re, you know, nowadays with podcasts with authors with, there’s so many ways that we can listen to indigenous voices. I’m going to link in our show notes to the all my relations podcasts that I’ve been listening to. That is a really cool podcast that I would recommend to our listeners Alright, number five, celebrate native people. So read the works of the authors it’s things we’ve talked about with you know, when we want to honor folks look at what they’re doing lift up their voices lift up their art lift up, you know, what what work they’re putting out into the world number six was by native this holiday, I love this come to cultural survival bazaars and support Native artists in your local area. Number seven, share positive representation of native people. You know, there’s so many stereotypes that share positive representation share, you know, we have new representatives across this nation and you know, share, share what’s happening there. And number eight, this was I think, is not quite the last one, the second to last, and racist native mascots and sports. This is one that people are like, I get all you know, they get all a little nutty wrap this I was gonna say up in arms, but that’s such a like, that’s such a militaristic term, right? What you’re saying, right. And number nine, the last one in this article is attend the day of mourning, and Alcatraz sunrise gatherings. This is an article that came out of a believe this one came out of California, but a lot of indigenous folks consider tomorrow a day of Mormon. And so you can look up in your area if there’s a if there is a ceremony or a gathering that is happening.

Shannon M. 7:06
So that makes sense. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 7:12
It feels a little heavy. But I think it’s important, you know, you and I talk about a lot about intersectionality and lifting up voices that are often underrepresented or not heard. So that’s why I wanted to bring it today. But I want to balance it with you know, a lot of a lot of us will be eating tomorrow big meals. What’s got to be on the table for you, my friends tomorrow’s dinner,

Shannon M. 7:44
and honestly I don’t because of because of that because we talk about the decolonization and the attachment to food of course I probably have what you would consider the staple Thanksgiving meals you know, macaroni and cheese we have stuffing and it’s going to be great greens with Turkey next and I’m of course you know, but I don’t know if it I’m always thankful to be eating and just enjoy the holiday. Because I don’t I’ve never been completely committed to the idea of it because of its history. That’s usually the most important thing to me. So that’s what I would say is my must have you know, to see people that I care about, of course to eat. Thankfully I do get to eat every day and I know that’s a blessing, but especially on Thanksgiving when everybody’s you know spending time with family stuff that’s usually the part that I focus on. But what about you? What is your go to Thanksgiving food?

Unknown Speaker 8:41
Oh, um, you know, it depends where I’m at. It’s very interesting because if I will I have this Cajun stuffing that I make that which makes my mouth water even. Last year I made gumbo but we’re going home for Christmas and so I’ll have gumbo then so we’re probably having some turkey and mashed potatoes and you know I I’m with you about it being the people and we will we’ll go on a hike or go put a puzzle together and play some games and but yeah, the probably the Cajun dressing is the one I’m looking most stuffing or dressing. It’s dressing if it’s outside of the turkey stuffing if it’s in the turkey.

Shannon M. 9:29
Okay, so dressing dramatic. Wonder what the difference was.

Unknown Speaker 9:36
I love it, my friend. Well, let’s bring up our guest because I am so excited to talk with her today. You’ll know I say that every week but I love the people that we’re talking to our guest. So I want to introduce you if you’re ready Shannon, are you ready? Okay, let’s do it. I want to introduce you to our friend and author and facilitator melody line barren. She has been called to midwife the dying for more than 30 years. She works with the dying and their caregivers to create an optimal conscious death experience. catalyze the difficult emotions evoked through grief, and claim the gifts of the grieving process. Boy, we need that this holiday season don’t only melody also facilitates a leadership process for women and coaches clients through the process of transforming their homes and workspaces their relationships and their lives. She does all welcome, welcome, welcome, Melody LeBaron. We are so excited to talk to you today.

Unknown Speaker 10:40
Thank you. It’s wonderful to be here with those of you lucky.

Unknown Speaker 10:46
We’re so grateful. So talking about grief and loss, like you know, even as we talk about decolonizing Thanksgiving like it gets me really quick.

Unknown Speaker 10:55
It does it does. I I have lived in 30 homes around the United States and Canada. And this was four years ago, we moved to the mountains of western North Carolina, which is my first ever move of choice. So I live now on the unseeded lands of the Cherokee. And I will be tomorrow with my voice I won’t be using the suggestion that was just made by the indigenous Solidarity Network, they have a rethinking Thanksgiving toolkit was some great questions very similar to the ones you were talking about. And, and just really helping us to, to come face to face with those myths that we were taught as children and and really come face to face with those and rethink them and re in our consciousness is it’s more about coming into right relationship with our history and right relationship with the land on which we live, and with the people who were here before us.

Unknown Speaker 12:12
I love that melody and I have had the privilege of taking one of your organization classes. And will you speak to what you recommend for folks to coming into right relationship in our homes?

Unknown Speaker 12:26
Right? Well, the first thing, the first thing I think for white people to recognize and for anyone who lives in a Western culture, which is a colonized culture, colonizer culture, is to recognize that we very often don’t have any more awareness of the spirit of the land on which we live, than the first white settlers who came to this country and got off their boats, and planted their flag on the beach for king and country or Queen and Country without ever connecting to the spirit of the land. And then they marched into the woods and started chopping down the trees to build forts to keep out the head called the land uninhabited. But then when they did acknowledge the indigenous peoples, they call them savages. And so, you know, we have to rethink, we have to rethink all of that. And we also have to ask ourselves, Am I missing something? In my relationship with my home? Am I missing something, because most of us, you know, if we’re at choice, if we’re blessed enough to be able to be at choice, and to choose an apartment or a home that we’re going to live in or a trailer, we find something we like, and we have connected to it for certain reasons. We like it for certain reasons. And then we move in, we may paint the walls a different color, we may put down new flooring, we lay out our furniture, we hang our artwork, and we’re done. And from then on, the home itself becomes a thing. But if I were to if we were hiking, let’s say we were walking along the beach or hiking in the woods, and I were to ask either one of you, do you think that nature is alive? What would you tell me?

Shannon M. 14:30
Yes, of course.

Unknown Speaker 14:31
Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 14:33
Yeah. And if I were to say okay, do you believe that nature is intelligent in its own way?

Unknown Speaker 14:41
Yes. I’ve seen it.

Unknown Speaker 14:45
Okay. So we we may understand that nature is alive and nature is intelligent. But this third question, do you believe that as we are walking through the woods, that nature is aware of us?

Unknown Speaker 15:03
What do you think? I would say? Yes, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 15:07
And and see, I would answer those questions all Affirmative. When I started teaching, by the way, I started teaching this material to people who wanted to declutter and organize their homes 30 years ago. And most people answered no to those questions. So I feel like there’s been a big shift in consciousness or awareness. So, so all three of us agree that all three of those things are true, nature is alive, nature is intelligent, nature is aware of us. But somehow, for most western people, when we enclose nature, and create a home, or a workspace, somehow, the space inside becomes dead to us. And it doesn’t have to be that way. All we have to do is think deeply about it. Think critically about it, recognize that all of the elements that make up our physical bodies, are also present in the bodies of our home.

Unknown Speaker 16:18
And that everything that’s created, whether it’s, you know, created by nature, or God, or created by man, everything created wants to fulfill the measure of its creation. So if we can understand that inside those elements that make up our bodies, and that make up the bodies of our homes, spirit is singing through each or intelligence, we can call it intelligence is singing through each one of those elements. So intelligence is singing through our bodies, and through the bodies of our home. And we’ve got that ineffable something that we might call the spirit of nature. That just because we have enclosed the space, doesn’t mean it’s not here and alive and present and aware of us. And I will take this a step further. I believe that the intelligence dwelling inside our homes inside our workspaces, wants to partner with us, wants to be treated like a foe equal partner. So the very first thing I do, whether I’m doing a space clearing, either live in someone’s home or remotely via zoom, the very first thing we do is I help them connect deeply to the land on which they live, until they can actually feel the spirit of that land. And then I have them connect deeply to the spirit in their home, the spirit of their home, until they can feel that until they can begin to communicate with and feel a, a an ability to have a conscious partnership with their home. Now, yes, I I’m there very often because the client wants to get decluttered and organized. But I will say that it’s very difficult to get organized, and to stay organized, if you are not attending to the relationship that we have the relationships we all have, with our homes, and with our land. And you know, most of the time, by the time people are in their 30s, at least by their 40s Most people have cleaned up their relationships, maybe they had some trouble and their family of origin. So maybe they had some dysfunction going on and some codependency. But most people by by, you know their their middle adulthood, they have cleaned up their relationships. But very often, I find that clients have a relationship with their home in which there’s at least one room that every time they go in it their their energy level drops, their mood drops. It’s almost like being with that person from childhood, who made them feel so bad, right? And so we have these relationships, with our homes, with our land, and with everything in our spaces. Like every piece of furniture, every piece of art, every piece of paper is either raising your mood and energy level or lowering it. And so, you know, we start with the relationship and in order for you to have a right relationship kinship with your home that really starts with acknowledging the spirit of the land, the spirit of the home, and treating it as if it wants to partner with you to help you achieve your goals. I believe our homes want to do more than just be shelter. And keep us safe and keep us warm. I believe our homes want to really partner with us.

Unknown Speaker 20:24
I love that. I love what that brings up melody when I imagine that. And I love you know, I said for years, it all comes down to relationships. So before I met you, I never really thought about it. Oh, even where we live comes down to the relationship. But I mean, it makes so much sense. I mean, I have a whole story I won’t get into on this episode about how I ended up where I’m at, because it’s a pretty magical story about the land and what I’m supposed to be doing here. But I just I find it fascinating. What about you, Shannon?

Shannon M. 21:02
So I hadn’t thought about speaking or sitting with the energy where I live, right? I might think about cleansing the energy when I moved, like you said you you’ve lived in it 30 In 30 different places. That’s a lot of energy from other people’s families. That’s usually what I think about. But after I cleaned it off, then I usually don’t think about it after that. So I’ve been watching this Netflix show that talks about some of the similar things. And so I’ve been more intentional about it. And it’s interesting to think about because it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 21:42
Well, Melody, you know, this season is often difficult for folks for various different reasons, you know, we’re going on two years of a pandemic, we are, you know, we are in the season of heading towards darkness. So, a lot of people struggle around the holidays, whether it’s missing people, whether it’s grief and loss, with death, or with straight estrangement and their families, like how do you tie in environmental wellness and creating spaces? How do you tie that in with the grief that I know it’s a lot, I may not be asking the question, right? I don’t know. How do we get our environments to support us and help us be well,

Unknown Speaker 22:30
right. So you, you both know, and I’m sure our listeners know, the feeling of preparing our space for our favorite person or people, right. And, and, and we and we clean and we decorate and we just make it really look beautiful. We’re creating a sanctuary of sorts, we’re creating space, every time you have a dinner party, you’re creating the space for some magical conversations to happen. So I’m so we have memories, we have memories of what the holidays are, whichever December holidays, we celebrate, we have these memories of and we have these hopes and desires of what this one will be. But we’ve also got, like you said, what many of us including myself, will have missing places at the table. So there there’s two approaches. I feel like there’s two approaches. And and one approach is like, well, we’re just going to sweep that under the rug. I you know, we’re just going to pretend that didn’t happen. We’re going to pretend that that really uncomfortable interaction with Uncle Bob didn’t happen and we’re just going to play nice. I don’t recommend that because then we are leaving our authenticity at the door. I recommend we we not only create a sacred beautiful environment declutter organized, just decorate and make it beautiful to us. But also, and I love your your Shannon I love the things you’ve talked about with clearing the space. So I would add most people just think of smudging but I would add if there’s any emotions. If there’s any emotional residue from maybe anger got discharged in the dining room last time it was used or maybe there was some sadness there. Take a little spritz bottle. Let me show you what I’m talking about here. I have one that I use just in my office. So get a little spritz bottle so it with water maybe put some homeopathic remedies Rescue Remedy is a good one and some essential oils and use the water element to cleanse the space, the gift of the water element is cleansing. And another way that you can really purify a space is to light a candle. And with intention, ask the fire element, which is all about purification, to help you purify the energy there. And then smudge would be the air element, which is all about transformation. And I would also bring in the earth element, bring in some plants, or bring in some items from nature, very often we do with the holidays anyway, and bring those items in with the intention to ground the space. So that people feel grounded and centered in their bodies, they’re present in their bodies, rather than just in their heads. And, and so and so if you’ve had a loss in the last few years, that loss is still going to be present for you. So bring it into the space, I have a grief altar. And so you know, when when I celebrate Christmas with my children, there will be a photograph of my son Logan, who isn’t with us. And, and so, you know, bring in photographs create an altar, some people actually set a place at the table for their missing loved one. And I, which I think is just beautiful. Because it gives us those of us who have been left behind after a loss, it gives us a way to acknowledge the person that we love. It also gives us a way to acknowledge the empty place at the table and our own grief about that. Every Christmas, I write a letter, I write a Christmas card to my son Logan, this will be my 24th

Unknown Speaker 27:10
year of writing a Christmas card to him after he after he died. And I can look back on those cards that I’ve written each Christmas, and see how much it has helped me to process my sadness that he wasn’t with us for that holiday. So So I would just you know, really encourage our listeners to make a place at the table for your own grief and your own loss, make a place at the table for any emotions that are uncomfortable. And if you’re going to be getting together with with family members that you disagree with politically, rather than creating any more divides, sign up for the I’m going to show you I just printed out last night, I’m registered to take the braver angels, the braver angels worse at the end of this month. And it’s all about how to talk with people who have opposite political paradigms and values than I have. And I am such a humanitarian, that I can very easily come into con con conflict with people who don’t hold those values. So I’m really up leveling, maturing my capacity to be present, with all my values and ideals, and for staying in right relationships with the people I love and care. Oh, I love that

Unknown Speaker 28:59
melody. And we will we will put that into our show notes. So folks can check out the braver angels workshop. And I love like all the tools you’ve given people to think about, like ways that you can honor people that you’ve lost or are missing. I love that a lot like and I also love that when you think about we all grow up in different ways. And some people are used to decorating some people are not and your perspective on that. Just I really love that like bringing in the elements, bringing in intentionality around it. And creating basically what you’re saying is creating sacred space.

Unknown Speaker 29:47
Right. Here’s the other thing I want to say to all the people who live alone. Very often, it kind of feels like oh, why would I bother? Why would I bother Decorating. It’s just me. Why would I bother? And I would encourage you to see what it is that you can do that makes your space feel beautiful and alive, so that you can actually feel the life force. Like when we walk through the woods, we feel the life force out in nature on the land. Well, I want to feel that in my home, even if it’s just me, I worth having sacred space.

Unknown Speaker 30:41
And I hear you and I hear, no, you’re not saying to folks, you have to go all out. Like you when you talk about creating an altar or you create a sacred space, like what is something small that people could do if they’re in a small space? Or if it feels overwhelming to them? What is something? Give us an idea?

Unknown Speaker 31:02
Yeah, so an altar is just an item or a group of items that alters our mood that uplifts our mood and energy level. And so my husband and I were hiking in the mountains last week, and I found some beautifully colored, brightly colored leaves. And I brought them in and put them with some pine cones and a few boards and made an altar.

Unknown Speaker 31:30
I love that. Because you know, it doesn’t have to cost any money. It doesn’t have to like there are so many gifts of nature, just like what you were talking about. And for our listeners who are not hearing Shannon’s voice, she’s having a little bit of a tech issue. So I don’t want you to think I’m just doing all the talking if you’re just listening to us and not watching us today. She will join us as soon as she can. But yeah, those gifts of nature, the gifts that don’t have to cost money, like literally fall from the trees.

Unknown Speaker 32:02
The other thing I will say is anything brought inside from nature or plants that you have for flowers have a lot of lifeforce around them. There’s a whole lot more lifeforce in that energy field around a plant than there is in a silk flower. Okay. And it the same is true of our art. If we have an original piece of art, which both of these pieces behind me are original pieces of art. If we have original pieces of art, they have more life force to them. Then a reproduction and you know, when I when I douse in client’s homes, there’s so much lifeforce in those drawings that were the children make, right? That usually get put on the on a bulletin board or on the refrigerator door. There’s so much lifeforce. So when my nieces and nephews make me some, you know, their drawings and their gifts like they get displayed, because that’s a lot of lifeforce.

Unknown Speaker 33:12
Right? I one of my favorite magnets that is still on my fridge today, and it is a reproduction because it was one of those places when my daughter who is now in her 20s was probably four or five, that she they took her footprints. And then she did a poem and and then they put it together on a magnet that you know shrink it down. And when you said that about lifeforce that’s immediately where my brain went, because, you know it was her little four year old voice about what happy flowers or walking it was her experience in nature it for is actually what it was. And it’s her art in her and that that spirit of you know, a four year old is just I love that. I love that idea.

Unknown Speaker 34:03
Yeah, and that’s that’s one of the things that is so precious to me. Our Christmas tree decorations are pictures of our children. Most of them are pictures of our children at all the different ages.

Unknown Speaker 34:18
Oh, I love that. We that just brings a lot of lifeforce into the room.

Unknown Speaker 34:26
Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 34:27
I love that. Now when I took your class, um, I don’t know if you would be willing to share this or not. Are people need to take your class to get this would you be willing to tell our listeners about how to how to heal? Like the original wound?

Unknown Speaker 34:47
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. This is so vital. I just want to share this with as many people as possible. So I do I’m I’m holistic. precessional organizer and I’m also a Fung shui consultant. And each different area of the home from the perspective of Fung Shui is like a different member of the Board of Directors of your life. And the very center of the home. The very center is the Board of Director member that is responsible for health and unity. And that’s health of body, mind and spirit and health of the home and land. And that’s unity of the body, mind and spirit and unity of the home and the land. And as well as for you and everyone in the household. So when I was trying to figure out years ago, I knew because of my own racial equity work that I wanted to create an altar that honored not just the indigenous people right now I live on unseeded Cherokee land, but to honor to honor all of the ways that colonizer culture has. Heart. I wanted to acknowledge that myself, and to honor the efforts that I and so many millions of others are making for towards reparations toward healing, and I realized the center of the home is the right area of the Bhagwad, the Fung Shui Bagua. So I created so we have a bookshop in the center of our home. And on the bookshelf, I placed my most precious books about about this work. This, this work of healing this work of truth, telling this work of reparations. And so these books are stacked up. And then you know, I’ve got a beautiful beautiful I wish I’d like to bring in a beautiful beaded gourd that has the Cherokee Salaberry and beaded around the Scylla bury his grandmother spider, you actually

Unknown Speaker 37:19
sent me a picture of this, let me see if I can pull it up here and show what you’re talking about. So if you’re listening, if you’re watching us, in addition to listening, there is a beautiful picture that you can find on Facebook or YouTube. And if you’re listening, Melodie just described it.

Unknown Speaker 37:40
And that’s a that’s a gourd and she this Cherokee artist hollowed out the gourd and each one of those are tiny little beads. She she put beeswax in the inside the gourd and one at a time with the tiniest little tweezers. She placed those beads. So it’s something I absolutely just love. And that is there was some books about the Cherokee people. Yep. And some and some books that remind me every day I this is an area of my home I pass every day. And that reminds me of my work to heal what I call the original wound, because that the original wound when the land was torn from its native peoples that did not just wound the Cherokee, the creek, the musky, all the tribes that wounded the land. And when I do a space clearing, and I follow the timeline down, that’s always the original wound.

Unknown Speaker 38:48
Right? Well, after taking your class, I reached out to an artist of Muskogee Creek target artist and got a piece of art to go in the center of my home. So I just want to tell you, thank you like that wisdom for that. You know, it’s a small thing, but it’s an incremental step towards reparations and had an incredible conversation with this artist and he was thrilled about the intention of the artwork and what was happening and I am going to put a link to his art for our listeners in our show notes. Because his name is I want to make sure I say his name right Kirk Morrison and he is a Muskogee Creek artist and he is actually in Austin, Texas now, which is fun because I’m originally from Texas, so it was really cool interaction and connection. And he was like I’m so glad a piece of my art is going back to the motherland. That’s what he called it and so I got a beautiful print of his that was a buffalo and it was a mixed media print and yeah, it was really yummy and And it was also interesting because when I was searching and looking, he came up under a struggling artists during the pandemic. So it was like an emerging struggling artists and how do you know we do this? Because the arts were hits so hard. Yes. Demmick? Yes, no, it’s what everybody leaned on during the panda. You know, everybody was watching Netflix, they were, they were listening to music, they were doing the things to survive, and the artists were struggling. And so it felt good on multiple levels to be able to purchase that piece of art and bring it into my home. So I just want to say thank you for that wisdom. And, yeah, it. I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the work that you do in this world. My

Unknown Speaker 40:50
Thank you. Well, you know, it’s my it’s such a joy to help someone transform their relationship with their home and their land, and then get it completely decluttered and organized. Because I think it was James clear. He says, we don’t rise to the level of our aspirational goals to declutter and organize your space, we fall to the level of our systems and out this next January, so I’m going to repeat that course that I taught last January, okay, this, this time, I’m really gonna focus on systems on creating systems.

Unknown Speaker 41:36
Okay. Well, I may be in it again, my friend, I loved your class so much. So all our listeners will put a link to Melody’s website, so you can check out all the different work she has. But I will give a testimony to that organizational class and say, take it take it and I probably need to take it again. So yes, the system Bill, I’m a system gal. But I also have neuro divergent and live in a house of ADD and artists. So Whoo, yeah, we can eat all I just may need to move you in melody. I know, you moved out of Georgia to North Carolina, but we need to move you back.

Unknown Speaker 42:15
I do. I do occasionally still work in person with clients, I would love to work with you in your house. To me that it’s such a, it’s such a joy, to help create, what I consider flow, when everything is when, when you so I’ll just step back and say that very often, when I begin working with a client 80% of the items in their home 80% of the total items, drag their attention back into the past. And when we’re finished 80% of the items in the home, celebrate, and pull draw my clients attention into their ideal future.

Unknown Speaker 43:03
Will you say that one more time, that whole sequence of what you just said and welcome back shader? We’re glad to

Unknown Speaker 43:10
welcome back I have so so yes, when I start working with clients, usually, most of them, you’ve heard of the 8020 rule. And so it’s like when you you know, working in a sales organization, 20% of the sales people make 80% of the sales. Well, the same 8020 rule applies in our homes, usually we wear 20% of our clothes in our closet 80% of the time. And so when I start working with clients, what they tell me is that 80% of the items, I’m talking artwork, I’m talking books, I’m talking about pieces of paper, pieces of furniture, clothing, 80% of the items in their space, drag their attention back into the past, or drag their attention because these things are left undone or there are projects that need to be attended to. So it’s all a sort of a dragging or a drain. On the energy level. The energy level is going down when we are complete, even if no I don’t I’m not one of those people who says get rid of all the photos. Get rid of everything that happened in the past No, no, I’m, I’m not like that. And 80% of the items in the home when we are finished. Draw my clients attention into their ideal future. Everything has a purpose has a place has a has a meaning for my clients. And it literally their whole environment is working, conspiring together. To help them live their ideal lives and function as their best selves.

Unknown Speaker 45:06
Talk about environmental wellness.

Shannon M. 45:08
Whoa.

Unknown Speaker 45:11
Like if your whole environment was conspiring for your ideal self?

Unknown Speaker 45:16
Yeah, I mean, can you just imagine like if every space, every drawer, every cupboard, every closet, was organized for efficiency. And then everything was created around beauty, your ideal of beauty, and what your body needs, what your mind and heart need. So yes, have 20% of the items in your home to memorialize and celebrate your past. But let everything most everything that you’re looking at, and interacting with on a daily base basis. Draw your attention into an ideal future that allows you to feel like you are expanded and able to be of greater and greater service to others.

Unknown Speaker 46:07
Melanie, thank you so much for this conversation. Shana, do you have any questions or comments you want to ask?

Shannon M. 46:15
No, again, thank you for the wisdom. That’s why I love to be a part of this podcast. I hate that I’ve missed it. Of course, thankfully, we have replays and I know where to find the podcast. But I love even even the last part, when I think about emotional and mental wellness. Especially with my degree in psychology, that’s a lot of what I thought about mental illness and just your mental disposition and your position as a whole. Right? That’s what I think about where people operate from. So having what you look at, in the things in your environment, help push you towards your ideal self. It makes so much sense that it’s one of those things like Why hadn’t I thought about that already. So I’m glad that I was able to hop back in and catch that part of it.

Unknown Speaker 47:03
Right

Unknown Speaker 47:03
now, it was fantastic to have this conversation. I love what the two of you are about, I love the episodes I’ve listened to. So thank you so much for just inviting me

Unknown Speaker 47:14
to have you before we pop you back into the green room melody every week, you want to set this up, Shannon?

Shannon M. 47:20
Yeah, so every week, we like to have action items. So we talk about a lot of stuff. But we want to make sure that we’re putting the things that we know into action. And that’s what makes us wise. So for environmental wellness, specifically, because that’s our topic this week, what is your wisdom and action and one thing that you’re going to focus on and make sure that we prioritize that?

Unknown Speaker 47:43
Well, I guess there would be two things, one would be to create order. And the next thing would be to create beauty, something that’s beautiful for you. And then if I could do a third, it would be to find a way to honor your grief during this holiday season. And so that when you’re actually celebrating the holidays, you’ve already processed the grief and you’re more present for whoever is in front of you.

Shannon M. 48:14
I love that. And that’s what I’m going to work on. Yeah, how do you how do you? Or what does it look like for me to honor that space, and still be grateful and enjoy the holiday and the festivities in the family time? Exactly.

Unknown Speaker 48:31
Yeah, wisdom in action this week, y’all is I’m going to be intentional about the beauty. Like I, you know, I was raised, where we didn’t look at that all the time. Like we were raised on a farm. So it was about the food or it was about the chores or about. And so I always do a little bit but I think after this conversation, I’m really going to put some intention towards it. And I’m also going to not get stuck in the martyr because sometimes I get a little stuck in the martyr honestly about how much I’m cooking and cleaning. So I am gonna I’m just being real real. So I think I’m going to focus on the beauty and the setting of the table and of the the, the making it all beautiful and balancing that with what are chores and

Unknown Speaker 49:25
beauty of the food.

Unknown Speaker 49:27
Yeah, all of that. Thank you so much Valley for this conversation. We look forward to more we will link all of your stuff in our show notes for folks so they can find you and check out the awesomeness that you’re doing in the world. And hopefully you’ll come back and talk to us next year sometime.

Shannon M. 49:46
Absolutely. Yes.

Unknown Speaker 49:47
Appreciate you my friend.

Shannon M. 49:49
Thank you. Environmental wellness, right?

Unknown Speaker 49:54
Yeah, at 20. I love the way that she said that I love The whole transitioning your space from the past into pulling you like pulled by the vision of where you’re going and what you work to do my friend.

Shannon M. 50:13
Yeah, it don’t we all and it’s so interesting because when you say that it reminds me of our original conversations and when we were talking about what to name the podcast, and we were like, We don’t want it to seem like too much work. But we have a lot of work to do to be well, in this country. Like we said, we’re talking about, we’re coming from colonization. So that comes with a certain mindset, it comes with a lot of things that in order to try to find the healthiest teeter totter of the ballots, right, there’s going to be some unpacking and some reorganizing. So when she said that it’s funny, because it reminds me of T shirts, too. And I had these I have old T shirts from old jobs, and it’s just like, well, but I need the T shirts to sleep in and to do this, but do you really need that one? No, you can get new T shirts that are about what your life is now and make you know makes you think about where you’re going instead of momentos of the past that you feel like you have to hold on to. So I like that too.

Unknown Speaker 51:11
So much juicy content to think about. So talking about a little bit of work to do what is happening over shallow. Oh my goodness, there for this holiday season.

Shannon M. 51:24
So much stuff. So we do have of course Black Friday sales coming up. But what I’m most excited about is to completely transition to our new containers. So if you ladies you gentlemen, like glass containers, please go to Shayla glow calm because they are almost out. And the kits already sold out. And the oils are sold out. So we have the sugar scrub and the shea butter available for you. And then of course we have the new home glow kits and the travel glow kits. And those are the new sizes that everybody was asking about. But I’m so excited. I’m excited for the new scents. And for it to help people you know, that’s what I think about what I think about my space. Like she said space for the grief, I have a whole little area that I go to before I go to work. And it has my oil, my shallow oil. And I love that because that’s what I was always forgetting I would do the deodorant, do everything else, get in the car, start driving and look at my hands and say, Oh no, how can I walk out the house without a shave no glow. So I love that it’s being spread to all the houses over the holidays, and that everybody’s being more intentional about including their self care, as we take care of all this other stuff. And yes, as you see if you’re with us, if you’re viewing our podcast, you will see that discount code for women connected in wisdom that is wise five, and you do get 5% off of your shallow water.

Unknown Speaker 52:49
Right. Thank you so much for doing that for our listeners. I really appreciate that. And I know our listeners appreciate it. If they are one of your customers because it is awesome. Stella,

Shannon M. 53:01
thank you so much. Yeah, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 53:03
Well, y’all it is we’re hoping you’re taking care of yourself. We are hoping that you are taking care in order to sustain your community care because there is a lot out there. And you can always reach out to me on my website if you need to chat and have some extra support. And because I do have a few slots available for private coaches, but until next time, yes,

Shannon M. 53:31
we will see you back here next week Live at Five and don’t forget, be well be wise

Unknown Speaker 53:47
thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on-air live on Wednesdays at 5pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.

Transforming Space, Self & Loss- With Melody LeBaron

Show notes –

Show Transcript –

About the Author: Christine Gautreaux, MSW

The Busy Women’s Guide To Better Mental Health – Emotional and Mental Wellness with Laurel Anne Stark

InnerAlly – Spiritual Wellness with Dr. Cynthia Phelps

The Divine Feminine & Finances – Financial Wellness with Devi Wetterer

Occupational Wellness with special guest Jaylan Salah Salman

Self Coaching and Psychological Safety – Intellectual Wellness with Kate Arms

Leave A Comment Cancel reply

Title