Show notes –
Shannon & Christine talk with our special guest Dr. Sheila K. Collins the Co-Author of Stillpoint: A Self-Care Playbook for Caregivers to Find Ease, and Time to Breathe and Reclaim Joy. Today we discuss emotional/mental wellness.
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I am Shannon Mitchell, a black millennial business owner, the founder of ShealoGlo, an all-natural handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self-care, business care & intentional wellness
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I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach & published author who helps you upgrade your self & community care.
Together we are Women Connected in Wisdom a Podcast grounded in the 8 dimensions of wellness
Join us and special guests for weekly intentional conversations about how to be wise in business, relationships & wellness.
Connect with us on FB, Instagram & YouTube for our live shows on Wednesdays at 5 pm ET & head over to Mighty Networks and join our community at https://women-connected-in-wisdom.mn.co/
Show Transcript –
NOTE: While it’s not perfect, we offer this transcription by Otter.ai for those who are hearing impaired or who don’t find listening to a podcast enjoyable or possible.
Christine Gautreaux 0:08
Let’s do this.
Shannon M. 0:08
Okay ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female millennial entrepreneur, the founder of shallow glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine Gautreaux 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, an international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show.
Christine Gautreaux 0:44
So every week, we have intentional conversations and special guests about how to be wise in business relationships and wellness. And y’all I’m really excited to introduce y’all to today’s guests. In just a few minutes. I am somebody very special to me that I have been in community and conversation with for over 20 years. That’s gonna date us a little bit but before we get there, let’s do a little check in how the heck are you today, Shannon? Cool.
Shannon M. 1:16
I am good. I am good. I can’t believe that is the end of I was gonna say almost, but it is literally the end of the month already. And right. And January’s off to a great start. So pivoting as always, and making progress towards the different goals that I have for this year is really exciting.
Christine Gautreaux 1:37
Can I tell you about the start of my week and how incredibly awesome it was a little bit to do with this. So when I walked out on my front porch on Monday, I had I don’t know if our folks can see it. But I had this really awesome package on my front doorstep. And it was one of the new Shayla globe bundles and I know you have a special name for them. What are they called?
Shannon M. 2:07
Yes. So this is called the soothe and smooth set the smooth smooth and that’s exactly what it does.
Christine Gautreaux 2:15
It arrived right on time. Like I had a really full amazing weekend and that involved our guest actually we can talk about that a little bit but I worked all weekend. And so I when I walked out Monday morning and there was this little package is my self care and I was so in this package all I just have to share because I was so excited. It has a multi use mango madness butter in it that spells divine. And it feels even better. It had a cream and sugar scrub set which I am hiding from my adult daughters because they love this and I need to make I get to use it. And then it had the glitter and glow multi-use oil. So I know that this is a product placement for our sponsor Shayla glow, but I just had to tell y’all that this stuff is marvelous. And it made my day. So my week started out because of you being delightful. So I wanted to say thank you. Well, of
Shannon M. 3:19
course you know, and of course you’re humble and you did not tell our listeners why you got the SU then smooth set, right. And ladies, for those of you who don’t know, I have a shave row every month. Right? We’re going to honor one once every quarter. But I think that we do enough and we deserve to be honored every month. So I’m going to keep it that way for my first Shea row because we have the podcast and because Christine adds so much to my life personally, I nominated my own Shea row and I did that for Christine to honor her because she does so much has helped me so much through the pandemic through everything that’s going on and especially with everything going on right now that means a lot so of course her taking care of herself is important to me. And if you have somebody who you know their self slowness is important to you go to the website and nominate you have to be subscriber but I would love to give a free gift to your Shay row for her to be nominated so that she can be excited about taking care of herself that she does all the amazing things that she is doing in the community.
Christine Gautreaux 4:27
It was so it was such a surprise that it was awesome. So think about it every every day so so today and I wanted to bring it up to is because today she and I were talking about emotional and mental wellness and having good friends having surprises having things you know, that just tickle you I know for me makes a difference. But you want to set us up with a definition.
Shannon M. 4:56
Absolutely. So it’s interesting because when I learned about The eight dimensions of wellness, I was interested to learn that mental and emotional was actually together. Right. And you know, Christine, this is one of my favorites having a bachelor’s in psychology from Kennesaw State, I’m all about your mental and emotional and how those two things tie together, right? This definition is from the University of California. And what it says is that mental and emotional wellness is important to be attentive to both positive and negative feelings, and be able to understand how to handle these emotions. emotional wellness also includes the ability to learn and grow from experience, emotional well being encourages autonomy, and proper decision making skills. And so when I would think about emotional and mental well being before, I might think about how many different emotions I go through, right, and where I am mentally, whether it’s negative, and I’m always thinking about my problems and everything I have going on in my life, or if I’m positive, but I love that this definition makes it more all encompassing and complete from what I see when I read it.
Christine Gautreaux 6:07
Right, right. Well, and our guest has a lot of expertise in this area. She has written several books that we’re going to talk about, and I think we can do a pretty deep dive into this conversation. So should we introduce her and get her in the studio?
Shannon M. 6:24
Oh, of course. Let’s bring her in. All right,
Christine Gautreaux 6:27
let me tell y’all before I bring her in. I’m going to read a little bit about her bio, because I could just tell you, I could tell you some background info but we’re gonna be all official. So here we go. She’s Collins believes that life’s toughest challenges call us out to discover our better selves. In facing such challenges is grief, loss and illness and death of loved one, we become who we truly are. I know a lot of people have faced that this year in the pandemic. Her writing, Keynote, speaking and improvisational artists performances contain thought provoking discoveries of ways to deal with tough, the tough challenges life ask of us, so that when we become stronger and more resilient from having met them, her award winning book warrior mother, fierce love, unbearable loss and the rituals that heal, tells of her journeys with two of her three adult children, and her best friend through their life threatening illnesses and deaths, and the rituals that helped her family to heal. Also, she uses her background as a social worker, a social work professor, therapist and performing artist. And also, she did a 2016 TEDx talk when death threatens, and we’ll put a link to that in the show notes. It’s a fabulous TEDx talk. And if you saw our picture, announcing today’s show, I photoshopped her TEDx pictures. So it’s really funny about her, between us at the tables. So she’s out and we’re hanging out just kind of sitting and chilling. So that was kind of funny. And, um, and this is the part that I get really excited about and love to She is the author, co author, because I get to be the one that goes co with our CO co authors with her. How do you say that? Yeah, it’s a self care playbook for caregivers to find ease, time to breathe and reclaim joy. Y’all I want to welcome into the studio, a dear friend, mentor and sister of mine, Dr. Sheila Kay Collins, so excited. So excited to have you here today.
Sheila K Collins 8:43
I feel very honored to be one of the guests on your show. So thank you so much for thinking of me,
Christine Gautreaux 8:50
you know it. So for our guests, and our listeners that don’t know, Sheila and I have been I business partners for probably about the last three years, and a lot of collaboration around our books still point, but she has so much knowledge and wisdom and things to bring in way before me and probably way after me. But recently, you’ve been doing a lot of work around the art of breathing. And I Shannon and I were talking about this in regards to emotional mental wellness, and about this past, you know, year are so many people we know in love and that’s what we wanted to talk about today.
Sheila K Collins 9:37
Well, and I’m going to add another word to the mental and emotional which is the social, the social This is because, you know they have all these categories, but I mean it’s all kind of together. And if do you remember when we first were told we were supposed to social we were supposed to social distance and they kept talking about social distance. to see, and all of us, like social workers are saying no, no, no. It’s called distancing. We have to be physically distant. But we have to find ways to stay connected socially. And it seems like that’s what we’ve all been trying to do, whether it’s grandmothers, like me getting on Zoom to, with my granddaughter, eight year old granddaughter, I can’t visit her. But I have been able, I have to give myself credit for learning this darn thing here of how to do this. Not that easy. But she’s also helped to teach me I have to give her credit. I learned how to do the whiteboard from her. So you know, but finding and I think what we need to celebrate for all of us is that we have found these ways to socially stay connected. For our own mental and emotional health. It’s just, it’s been amazing. So yeah, it’s a we don’t really want to be just so socially distance, that’s that’s leads to isolation, depression, and really, are social beings. And what I say about one of my friends, I am because she is I think that’s the African same, but it’s true, we are who we are, because we hang out with one another. And when we can’t hang out with one another, then it’s really it really is a loss in our souls. I think so.
Christine Gautreaux 11:40
So Sheila, I know this week, we were playing around, we do Interplay together at least once a week. And we were playing around with this conversation about mental because we talk about it in the book Stillpoint how it goes in waves, and and how we can make a difference with our mental and emotional health, with some tools and exercises and physical physicality. So talk to us about that. Because for those who don’t know, Sheila is a dancing social worker. So tell us a little bit about that. And tell us what some things you do? Well,
Sheila K Collins 12:19
this is the thing. So when I was a social work professor, we were sending the students out into the real world, into the healthcare system, which was almost as bad as it is now. But it was dead, it was very tough. And we weren’t giving them the skills to take care of themselves. So and so what I called on then was really what I knew as a dancer, because the dancer if you if your body, if you don’t take care of your body and your spirit, you, you don’t have anything, you’re out of work. So you can’t just keep limping along, which is what we do otherwise suck it up, and we’ll limp along. But anyway, I think what we were talking about the other day, Christina and I have been having a class online. And this is an interesting thing to I think mentioned, we decided we would do this for people during this tough time, we would give them a way to come together using our book and, and connecting with each other with music with movement. And of course, it’s been so wonderful for us. I think every time it’s every time it’s over, we say, Oh, this was really good. I mean, you know, that’s, there’s a principle there about when we give we get and we give Yes. And and I think that we had the same on the other day, when one of the women that came on with us had a lot her mother had died. And and so she mentioned that and, and so we’re talking about self care. And I I reached out to her and I said, you know, I? I feel like I really want to know something about your mother and and what came to me when she did that, of course what she wanted to tell us about her. We really, we really want to share the people that we love, even though they’re not here and maybe especially because they’re not here. And it was such a US. She showed us a photograph that she had made of her mother and she had put up the angel wings behind. I don’t know, it’s just the art. So it was just so wonderful. Because in these times we have missed gathering together in our usual ways when someone crosses and so very, not good for people who are close to them, but it’s not good for the community either. Because we I wanted to hear about this 93 year old woman. I wanted to know her, you know, I wanted to see how she did it. How she got to 93 So I think that’s the other thing. We we inspire one another, we inspire one another.
Shannon M. 15:08
I love that. I love that Sheila. And it’s really interesting, right? So we talked a little bit about shallow glow. But what I’ve been telling my friends that I’ve been enjoying so much about this podcast is that it’s not really about a product, it’s really about women taking care of themselves, right? Christy knows that my mom passed away at the end of 2019. And I love how everything falls together. Because it would have been a different situation, if you know, would have been during Corona and I wouldn’t have seen her and she had been sick. But there has been a lot of people, you know, whose moms are passing away. And for me, it’s about the women and us taking care of ourselves. Because even I have a degree in psychology. So social work was something that I thought about, right. But it really doesn’t matter what your degree is in the women are expected to take care of people when they’re sick, and when they’re young, when they don’t feel good in between. And we don’t always talk about what taking care of ourselves looks like. So I commend you, ladies, for taking the time to put together to put together the resources so we can be equipped to do a needs to be done, and make sure that we’re not limping along, you know, that we can really dance through life is a possibility. So thank you. Yes, right.
Christine Gautreaux 16:22
Well, you mentioned art, Sheila is, I quote you all the time on this, thank, you know, my dear friends and mentors always says that we must make art out of what happens to us. So we you talk a little bit more about that, and how you used art and ritual to deal with what life throws your way?
Sheila K Collins 16:45
Well, and I’m still trying to figure it all out myself, you know, so I keep you know, when I, when I had so much loss in my life, and I, and it didn’t, it what helped was not as much what I had learned in social work. It was not, I mean, some of it was, but a lot of it was the support for other people, from women holding me up, literally, I felt like sometimes I was up by my community. By my end, even if they weren’t there in the moment, you know, they would somebody would call just at the right time or something. So I wanted to find out more about what it was that did help and and say that out loud, or put that write it down. And so then working on it, but at the same time, you know, some people are thinking, well, you kind of move on, I mean, you move on, you know, that’s the big thing, you know, or find something more pleasant to write about. But it didn’t feel that way to me, I wanted to go into it. And I think that what I recognize is the whole process of the whole process of grieving is really almost a sacred process, because we take our loss, and we really need to digest it, you know, to and that art can sometimes help us do that. Even in ceremony, like if you think about you go to there’s music and the music is a way to kind of transform us into a sort of magical in between the worlds place where we can begin to let that wash over us and become a part of who we become. So I’ve just begun to realize that we we need to we doing the grieving work is also how we move on to a bigger thing. And also a lot of times, and you probably know people that have done this, but when you when something happens, like I had a son who died of AIDS, so I don’t want other people to have sons that die of AIDS, you know, and, and so I started honoring him by connecting to a woman who was teaching teenagers, about AIDS, it was a prevention, because the kids are saying, well, there’s there’s medicine, they don’t have to worry, you know, so I said wait a minute, you know, I’m can tell you, and I could say to can what he would I could say to them what Ken would say if he was here, you don’t really want this, you don’t want this. So in when I would do that I would feel like I was carrying on his life or his missions. And I think that is one of the most powerful things about grieving. We, we did some work with some sisters, some nuns, and they taught us something wonderful. They had this thing that they would say when when there was a loss and boy we have had a tsunami of losses. So pick out Don’t care. But what so we say what? To what loss to what life is this loss? Calling us. So because off, it is something and the one that comes to me right this minute, looking at you, Shannon, you know, you were mentioning about your mom, you know, to me black power is black grief. Black Greek, is we don’t want another kid to be in this situation. We are organ right are standing against. And we’re doing it from the love that we have for our own people that we know personally. So and then in that is, that’s how the world gets better. I’m sure of it.
Christine Gautreaux 20:50
I think you just hit on like Black Lives Matter and the Black Lives Matter movement that was in existence before joy, George Floyd’s murder, but really this summer, how much that just so expanded out of that out of the call for love of my sisters and in to stop and just killing. Exactly.
Shannon M. 21:18
I think it’s really, it’s really interesting. You know, like you and I love what you said, you said, and Christine put it up to what life is this loss calling us. And when you talk about my mom, right? She had cancer, she has pancreatic she had pancreatic cancer. So we know that cancers develop. Right? So you started dealing with teenagers and I went directly into a shea butter company. So women could be intentional about their health every day. So I completely understand what you mean, you know. And now this Friday, I have the opportunity to start teaching millennial business owners, because death and grief is of course, something that we need to face. But what about this long life ahead of us? We’ve been underdeveloped on purpose. There’s eight dimensions of wellness. And a lot of times when we talk about slavery, the biggest tragedy right now that I see as a millennial is that we only talk about slavery in really, maybe three categories of the eight, we talk about finances, right a few 100 years ago, I definitely wouldn’t be on this podcast, right. And I definitely wouldn’t have made as much money as I’ve made already. But that’s not the only category right? Outside of that, of course, we talk about social, like we just said the it went from lynching to shooting people, right, and the array of things that are in between that, especially when we talk about women, and how the intersectionality between race and gender is not always given like to as well, right. But again, there’s more to life than physically or financially. There’s all sort of spiritually we talk about that with slavery as well, right Christianity, but there’s still a need to be well, spiritual wellness. So what does that look like? But before we can do that, especially as mental health expertise with the mental health expertise that you ladies have, we know about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, right? So it’s really all of these things that come together. And what Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs say is that there’s an order of things that you need to get taken care of before you can even focus on the next level. And survival is at the very bottom of that, of course, because like he said, if you’re not here, if you’re just limping along, there’s nothing else that we can do. So it’s really about not only getting the stimulus check and the education and the knowledge, but being able to have your money work for you to have businesses so we can make jobs and create more opportunities. And like you said that women lifting each other up us working together and growing as a generation with streaming and technology. All the information is, you know, easily accessible online. Right now is the time to do it. So I’m taking the next four years with this presidency, and running as fast as possible. Okay. Take a breath. running as fast as possible. Well,
Sheila K Collins 24:11
I know it’s yeah, we’re in we’re in. What is it the Chinese saying, May you live in interesting times? Well, we certainly. Check that check that box. Box, right.
Christine Gautreaux 24:29
Yeah, I think it’s one of the things we talk about often right, like Shannon, everything you just talked about, like business in survival and running households and caregiving. You change the world because I know the two of y’all changemakers and and like how do we do it all and take care of ourselves and communities at the same time? So Sheila, I know because we talk about it all the time together. But why don’t you Tell our audience like, what is your? How do you do it? Like how do you do everything you do in this world? Take care of your family and take care of yourself. Like, give us some, give us some tip pro tips here?
Sheila K Collins 25:16
Well, I’m in a way it some things have been easier for me. What since I’m not running around the country? Because you have I mean, the reality is you have to pack your bag, get all it go, you have to unpack, come back and unpack I mean, all of that. I don’t do any of that, because I’m in my room mostly. So that’s cuts out a lot. I mean, I obviously i I’m looking forward at some point, my room. But I think so some things have been removed from behaviors that have been removed. But I, I don’t know, I’ve always been somebody that’s interested in a lot of different things. And, and one of my, I guess, flaws and my gifts is that I am a person who’s interested in a lot of things, you know, it can be good or not good. And so so I don’t know, one of my, one of my favorite songs is we get by, by the help with the help of our friends, I mean that I had one of my favorite songs. The Beatles are right. So I’ll give you an example. Just recently. So one of my friends heard about the COVID magazine being available somewhere, which of course, we’re all trying to what. And so she tells me about this, because she’s not meeting the category, but I as an elder did so and she told me and I put it in right away, and I got it. And I mean, there’s almost nobody that’s getting this. So when you talk about privilege, I have the privilege of having some friends who are in the know, on certain things. And that’s the way the world works. It shouldn’t be working that way. But but it does. And so, now we’re trying to figure out, can we help get this, you know, to more people and you know, that sort of thing. But, but I think really, it is being able to ask for help. Being able to connect with other people, is really how we can expand what we’re able to do in this world. I mean, I’m just one little person,
Christine Gautreaux 27:25
right? A little person that makes a big difference. But you know, that’s what we’re all about is connecting. You know, you are the three of us on this podcast are connectors. And how do we support each other going through this? Now? You’re in Pittsburgh, I don’t think we’ve said that. You are in Pittsburgh, so it is really cold and snowy there right now. But I know a little something about you about what you’ve been up to the last couple of weeks, you want to tell folks what you’re doing for your physical wellness? Well,
Sheila K Collins 27:59
this is this is a very odd thing. But in my earlier days, I was a skier. I mean, I did ski in snow, you know. And so I live sets I don’t go anywhere much. But I live where there’s hills near me, and pretty high hills and in in forest lands and trails, which I didn’t even know were there kind of because you know, I’m Oh person and everything. And I don’t know if I want to but I found out you can get these like ski poles. There’s their sticks. I call it my sticks, but my poles and I’m telling you so you become a four legged. I’m no longer a two legged I’m affordable. And I tell you how much fun was it? I think and I’m, I’m on the ledge, I mean, and I and I wouldn’t be doing any of this. Well, it was really funny because I might I have a new doctor. And when I was he’s a gerontologist. So I’m telling you where did you get those systems like a quick idea you saw like it’s never heard of this you know before and then the nurse she said I have to tell all the other old people telling me you can see
Christine Gautreaux 29:14
well, I just know I know even listening to you talk about it and watching your face light up because we’re on video right now how much we know it’s all interconnected, right? Like how much that physical wellness is impacting your emotional and your mental wellness are able to get out and be out in nature and you know, it’s so interconnected.
Sheila K Collins 29:37
I’ll see I as a dancer, and I still insist that I am even though I my dad put dances changed and they don’t dance the way my eight year old granddaughter dances I the way I dance, so but I believe everything is physical. I believe that in this life, we will get to a time when we will leave This body, they say, I think that’s right. But till I do, you know, it’s this is the one I got. And, and, and I want to be good to it and and I know that, that when doing the things that we need eating the right things, you know all the things that Shannon you’re talking about with wellness, it really these are behaviors wellness verb, yeah. And lots of activities. And so being being very mindful of what we eat and how much water we know, and all of that. But the but there’s no question the notion of just being able to move. I mean, some of my teachers, I think it was Feldenkrais, who said, the quality of your life is the quality of your movement. And certainly many people who are my age do not have much quality of life, because they are challenged in and they don’t have the sticks, I want to talk. If they had the holes, they could do a lot. And I know that my brain see it when I’m doing this, you know that? Well, you love this because my husband, he’s not he gets the sticks too, but he’s not really sure that this is, you know, that great, because he’s thinking of fitness, as being okay, we’re gonna, you know, go fast, and you know, and pay how we join and you know, that sort of thing, which is a particular kind of fitness, it’s great. But with the sticks, you know, you you’re your brain because you’re having to, you know, adjust constantly, the terrain, and you’re really, with the Earth, just really, and what Pam told me the other day, she feels like she can see more of what’s going on. Because she has her stick. Instead of you know, you’re thinking, Oh, I’m gonna fall or, and of course, you know, the medical profession, they when they see how old you are, that that’s the first thing you don’t want to fall. You know what
Christine Gautreaux 32:01
I love here, I love so many things about you, my friend. You know, I love how you don’t like that mental piece about you don’t attach what you can do to the number of the age you are, like, I do think that’s really mental with you about you’re like, I’m gonna go hiking with these new sticks in the middle of winter. And I’m going to do it like, I know some 50 year olds that wouldn’t do that, like that would be nervous about that. And you are just like, I’m doing it. It’s good for my self care. And I’m out of there.
Sheila K Collins 32:38
All right, well, I have to say also, I have pictures. This is I’m in my dance studios where I am right now. It’s now my media studio, since I become such a expert on that, but but I have pictures of old dancers, old dancers that I actually saw dance. And one of them is rue Saint Denis, rue Saint Denis was a very old woman, when in fact, I looked it up one time, because I thought everybody was so old. You know, I was so you know, young people, they don’t know if you’re 30 They think you’re old. But, but I looked it up to see how old she wasn’t. She was in her 80s When I saw her, I saw her perform. And I mean, I was like, and I was we were in order to, you know, be like when they called scholarship students, you know, we got to do what, like clean the latrines and be, you know, waiting on tables and be seen handing out the programs in the theater every night, and I was like, you couldn’t take your eyes off of her. I mean, she taught me what presence is when she would stand. I mean you she wasn’t doing anything, but you couldn’t take your eyes off. So I’ve had a lot of people to inspire me.
Christine Gautreaux 33:58
Her name was Ruth St. Davis,
Sheila K Collins 33:59
Ruth Sanctus. rissington is one of the early modern dancers, modern dancers that you know, those women they took their corsets off. I mean, this is what happened. The ballet dancers still had theirs on they still do. But they took their corsets off, and they developed a whole different kind of dance, which was much more friendly to the way body is built. So much more but and then she also did a lot of dance with. I mean, her inspiration, she visited the East a lot, and nobody did at that time. So Asia and soapstone for, you know, her, her she would she would be with her hands like, you know, from cultures that we we don’t usually know about, you know,
Christine Gautreaux 34:52
right. That was pre internet. I love that in this conversation. with three different generations in the room, like, really quickly, one of the questions we often ask our guests, she was like, Who inspired you? And we didn’t even have to ask you that. From this conversation, and I love that. Shannon, what other questions do you have?
Shannon M. 35:20
What one thing I was gonna ask is, I understand how intricately I guess, inner locks, for less of, for lack of a less traumatic way to say it. Physical and emotional and mental wellness is right. My goal is to run four times a week, I want to make sure I can use it for as long as possible. But for a woman who is differently abled, what would you say about that? I hear you when you’re talking about staying connected, right. That’s why it’s women connected in wisdom. So community, absolutely. What else would you say to somebody who may not be able to go out in the mountains right now? Right, right.
Sheila K Collins 36:03
Well, you know, there is a category when we talk about disabled people, or it’s a category we can all join. And it could happen like that, and have had experiences where we have a broken arm or, you know, so. And there’s, there’s nothing more important than keep moving. Anyway, you, you move what you can move. And so I think, in we teach something called inner play, which is, you know, you we, it’s it spaced in the body, but people tell stories, and you know, and people do this wheelchair, people do it, you know, with, they have to walk with a stick or a crutch, or what if, you know, it’s what you it’s, in fact, even some of our forms have been done with people who are in hospital, in head and pad, you can move your arm your hand, you can connect with another person. Just you know, so in ways that words just don’t do it.
Christine Gautreaux 37:18
I think that is, I know to be true, Sheila about working with you, and the work we do in the world. That connection piece for mental and emotional wellness is like, being able to connect with other people. And especially in the midst of a pandemic, like when we’re not doing our regular routines. When you get in a funk, like when you get when something funky happens, or you like, Do you have something you do to get yourself out of it?
Sheila K Collins 37:51
Besides call you. Do and there’s some people I will not call? I mean, I would not call them I mean, you got to know who to call and when it but yeah, I think well moving, of course is i mean i and and just being able, and what I’ve been amazed at is the kind of connection we can make on the screen. Because we know when we’re in person, we can make this connection. But I have been amazed at how wonderful it is and how good we all feel when we do it. So that’s probably helped me understand more and more. When we talk about being social beings. We, we are we can it’s like we’re one body sometimes. And and we want that. It’s not bad. It’s good. Yeah.
Christine Gautreaux 38:49
That thing about we’re all connected. Mm
Shannon M. 38:54
hmm. I do have one more question for you, sila. So personally, when I hear these things, right, I definitely think that they are all relevant no matter what your age is. Do you think that you would say that across the board? For everything that you would advise somebody do when they’re thinking about their mental and emotional wellness? Well,
Sheila K Collins 39:17
I think our challenges are different in the age in the life cycle, so, um, woman or even a middle aged woman who has is trying to work she’s got her kids at home, you know, I mean, it’s, that’s a very different and I remember when that was, I remember in fact, I, I also remember, you know, Margaret Mead said that we’re the only culture that that expects one woman to raise children by you know, I mean by herself. What, what kind of thing is that? Nobody does that anywhere else, you know. So, it’s, you know, it takes a village that’s that take a village trying to help people realize that, so So there are times In our life, in fact, I can remember visiting my, we would my husband, I probably would have been in our 50s. And we’re visiting his parents are in their 70s or, you know, going into 80s. And we would say, you know, we’re too busy. But these people have enough. I mean, really? Could we have something in the middle here? Because it’s, you know, you get a group of all people together, and then they don’t have any young people around them. And I’m not sure it’s good. So, I mean, my sister has been in, she is having she has Alzheimers, essentially. But in a couple years ago, she was in a facility where they had young children come, and, and they, and she read to them, oh, and it was her, her life was so much better for her. I mean, she’s wonderful. It’s one of those kid magnets, you know, she walks in, and they just come over. So there’s something about the notion of not being so separated by age to have more, you know, interaction,
Christine Gautreaux 41:05
or generational stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
Shannon M. 41:09
I think so. Please, thank you.
Christine Gautreaux 41:12
Loving this conversation, and I’m also paying attention to time. So I am so grateful she left because I do know how busy you are, you are not one of those elders who has nothing to do. Because you’re currently working on your third book, The Art of grieving, and I want to stay connected to you, because you you put out a blog once a week with some really good stuff in it. How does somebody get connected with you?
Sheila K Collins 41:41
Well, they can just go to my website, which is my name, Sheila Kay collins.com. So that’s pretty easy way. And there’s things in there about our class is in there, I think. And the books are in there and different things that we do. So yeah, that’s perfect. That’s probably the best way to get to me. Yeah,
Christine Gautreaux 42:03
we’ll put in our show notes and stuff like that. And I’m sure we’re gonna have you back at some point. Yeah, hold books. Show us the book for folks that are watching or
Sheila K Collins 42:13
that? Yeah, I don’t know if it’s got a little shine off. But this is the warrior mother book.
Christine Gautreaux 42:22
Award winning and more powerful book to read.
Sheila K Collins 42:27
Yeah, this is a story. And it is a story about like I said, the things that really helped and the things that didn’t weren’t so helpful. And the role really have a ritual of support and ritual in our in our lives, Unity connections, for sure, for sure. And then this one is the one that Christine and I did together. And this is Stillpoint. Self Care playbook for caregivers to find ease, time to breathe, and reclaim joy. Enjoy.
Christine Gautreaux 43:03
So it’s been such a joy to have you here. I’m going to pop you back in the green room. I’m sorry, there’s not chocolate and hot tea. Since we’re virtual, because if we were together, you know, there would be but huge love and hugs my friend. And I am sure we will have you back when that new book comes out to talk to us more. So thank you for your time.
Sheila K Collins 43:25
Thank you so much.
Shannon M. 43:27
Thank you, Sheila.
Christine Gautreaux 43:29
Wow, so much to talk about.
Shannon M. 43:32
I know.
Christine Gautreaux 43:36
Just didn’t do it justice. What was something that stuck out with you, Shannon, I know this is your first time I’ve been talking about Sheila a long time. But this is your first time to meet her what was something that stuck out for our conversation?
Shannon M. 43:49
You know, it’s interesting, because when I think about the eight dimensions of wellness, and of course I know what we’re going to be talking about last week, next week, right? When I thought about emotional and mental. I didn’t expect to be talking about dancing and outside and physical movement, you know, and that’s what helps me so much. I love being by the water. I love being by the trees and the mountains and the ocean and all of that, you know, and it does help. So it was just really interesting. I didn’t realize that it was such a big part for everybody. Because I’m so used to thinking about psychology and the textbook version of it, you know, so I really liked that.
Christine Gautreaux 44:29
Right? When she said wellness is a verb. I really like it is like it’s we had a sectional and we have to be active in it. Yeah, because it’s very rare if we’re laying on the couch 100% of the time that wellness is coming to us.
Shannon M. 44:49
But I think that but I think that it depends you know we talk about our goals and our wins every week with our manifestation Monday group and sometimes the rest and you being On the couch is the verb that you needed to do that we know. And so I think, yeah, right. Right. And so I think is a balance of both. And that a balance in the way of always 50 50%. Because we know that’s not realistic, but and knowing what you need in the situation that you’re in and adjusting based on what’s going on.
Christine Gautreaux 45:21
I agree. I know, for my emotional and mental wellness, I can usually have one to two days, that I’m just complete bum like that I’m resting but not, you know, actively do anything. And after two days, I get funky. Like I really am a mover, like I want to be, even if it’s gentle moving like a slow walk, meditative Walker. I just know that enough about myself that it and I think that’s a big piece of it. Right is cluing into our own bodies and our own body wisdom. And what do we need individually? To what, what helps us to be emotionally Well,
Shannon M. 46:04
right. And the other week, the first guest that we had with Dr. Joe vz, right, we were talking about physical wellness. And my takeaway from that week was my wisdom and action that I will do was walking, even if I wasn’t running, you know, again, you know, I have the goal of running four times a week. But the other day when I took a walk, I said this is needed to we’re inside so much, our guests, you know, Miss Sheila was just talking about how she’s usually in and out of packing and trips. And so now we’re inside. And I didn’t realize that being inside had really affected me, I got to get out and walk even if I’m not running. So I loved it when she said move what you can move, move your eyebrow get connected. You know, let’s do it.
Christine Gautreaux 46:53
So very fun. Well, what are we talking about next week? Do we have it set? I think I know who’s coming on. But I think our guest is going to be my friend and colleague showing her Rahim, who is she is a grassroots spiritual practitioner. So I think we’re talking about spiritual wellness next week.
Shannon M. 47:15
I’m excited. I know we had switched it up. But it’s all relevant right now. So I’m looking forward to it.
Christine Gautreaux 47:22
I am to How can folks connect with us on social media.
Shannon M. 47:27
So if you guys are watching, right, then you know that we are on Facebook and YouTube. This is where we’re going to be live every Wednesday at five. Outside of here. We are on Instagram again women connected and wisdom podcast. Feel free to reach out and join the conversation in between the shows. And if you have any questions or would like to be a guest on our podcast, feel more than welcome to reach out at women connected in wisdom@gmail.com.
Christine Gautreaux 47:54
In the meantime, I think we’re about done for today, right?
Shannon M. 47:58
Yes. And again, ladies, don’t forget, tell us what your favorite part of the show was tag us on social media again, whether you’re on Facebook, or Instagram with the hashtag wisdom and action. And what that is talking about is exactly what we said wellness is a verb. So how are you going to take what we talked about and implement it this week? And don’t forget, be well be wise and the whole
Unknown Speaker 48:24
effort thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on-air live on Wednesdays at 5 pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
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